Snooze Button Dreams
Snooze Button Dreams
Snooze Button Dreams
July 25, 2006
Hip Hop Anonymous? UPDATED

De ponders going underground. As someone who blogs in anonymity, I can tell you there are a few guiding principles. Some are obvious, others I had to break or fuck up to learn.

The first thing about blogging incognito is to actively limit your exposure. You only want certain types of friends reading your blog. Any member of the general public is fine, but don't run around telling everyone to keep in touch with you via yur blog. If they don't know you well, you're blogging is going to make them think your a nutcase or an asshole or both. Close friends, on the other hand, are already aware of these tendencies and don't really seem to care. My wife, sister, and I think occasionally my big brother read this blog. No one else who reads here could point me out in a lineup. It makes things easier that way.

Obviously, never use real names. Even real first names, regardless of their relative ubiquity. I made this mistake once, and an acquaintance from my past popped up one day to tell me he thought I was a dick, a betrayer of his trust, and that we were pretty much never going to hang out again. At the end of his little tantrum he, pouting and stomping his foot for emphasis, demanded I remove the post(s). I saved the writing because I enjoyed it, scuttled the site, and resurfaced on a different one. During my hiatus, I made the effort to go through the offending stuff and change the instance of every real name, using a the 'Find and Replace' function in MSWord. I don't even use fake names, because if you're going to go to the trouble to give someone a fake name, give them a really good fake name like Brick, Chowder, Slingshot, or Jean Luc Picard.

While we're on the topic of names, try to avoid identifying your employer. Employers and blogs have never made good bedfellows, just ask any of the number of people who've been dooced. Also, it's not a good idea to be specific about the city you live in.

Establish an anonymous email account via gmail or somesuch. You can use it as a proxy, so you can communicate with folks off the blog without having to send them an email from thisismyname@thisismyISP.whatever.

Blogging in anonymity is a weird thing. You want to connect with folks, but you want to do so without showing them your ass. The reason this oxymoronic dynamic arises is the amazing exposure you get via the web. You're not just writing in that free local rag, or reading poetry during open mic night at some hole in the wall. Anyone can read your blog, which means if you want to blog anonymously that you've got to put up a semipermeable membrane that allows you to control how much people know about you. Which, as any good anonymous blogger can tell you, should be nothing.

UPDATE:
Forgot this one. If you're already blogging and wish to start anew without losing some of your loyal commentariat; there's a loophole. It is possible to send emails out to your regular commenters (the ones who only know you through the blogosphere) telling them you're going under deep cover. Most of the time they'll respect your wish to be on the downlow because everybody loves being part of some big secret. Although they may occasionally slip. Look, I'M NOT PERFECT, OKAY!?

Points for the title, no googling you filthy fuckers.

Posted by shank | Permalink | TrackBack (0)
Comments

God.
I'm screwed.
It's a miracle I haven't been fired.

Posted by: DeAnna at July 25, 2006 05:06 PM

Hip Hop Hooray?

Posted by: Oorgo at July 25, 2006 06:49 PM

De, it's black ops time. Loose your blog it's real world-based coil and discover true freedom. It's better than sex.

Ok, so that last part wasn't true. But it was the next line in my Idiots Guidebook to Converting the Masses.

Posted by: shank at July 25, 2006 06:53 PM

Ok...here's a question...
what about the people that regularly read but don't comment?
I lose them? I kinda like those creepy lurkers!

Posted by: DeAnna at July 26, 2006 01:22 AM

De, if you want to scramble some eggs you gotta- wait, that's not right. If you want to crack some- dammit!

Let me put it like this: did you ever see Old Yeller? Sometimes you have to say byebye to things, and it makes you want to cry. Sometimes when you say byebye to things, it's because you have to shoot them so that you can survive. De, it's time to kill your lurkers.

Posted by: shank at July 26, 2006 06:31 AM

Shit. Those poor lurking bastards.

Posted by: DeAnna at July 26, 2006 10:24 AM

Dude... even after googling the title of this post I still don't know what the fuck you are talking 'bout.

yo

Posted by: Oorgo at July 26, 2006 05:41 PM

I have a blog that I started, and because of a stalker had to scuttle... however, when I closed the account the blog stayed and people continue to read and comment. I can't get back in to put a note or to send email or anything... it's annoying and strangely weird at the same time. My new blog is not nearly so popular even though it has the same shit... now *that* is very strange.

Posted by: Moodie at July 27, 2006 02:30 PM
Posted by: sadas at August 7, 2006 06:26 AM
Posted by: Helga at August 11, 2006 05:37 PM
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