Snooze Button Dreams
Snooze Button Dreams
Snooze Button Dreams
July 25, 2006
For The Common Good
(Category: Cheeses of Nazareth )

Today I was walking from my car to the office and there was a guy three cars down who was arriving at the same time. As he got out of his car I was able to smell his cologne from thirty feet away, outdoors. As usual, it enraged me.

What possesses people, both men and women, to swim laps in that shit everyday? Can you imagine working with this guy? Last week I was olfactorily offended at a restaurant by a woman four tables away. This has got to stop.

You shouldn’t be able to smell that shit unless you’re close enough to kiss somebody. Meanwhile I’ve got people at work who reapply that shit three times a day. It’s taking the goddamned paint off the walls. Have you ever had to sit in a conference room with someone who has bathed in perfume? Because I have and I’m here to tell you it’s migraine inducing.

Stop. Now. Before I start accosting you publicly

Posted by Paul! | Permalink | TrackBack (0)
Comments

This goes against what I have learned from those Tag body spray commercials. I need to make sure I have enough on, so the college girls in the dorm can smell me as I pass by.

Posted by: DerekM at July 25, 2006 12:19 PM

We had this freaky clown faced fat woman who worked across the hall, you could smell her about 10 minutes after she left the hallway. Not just the gallons of perfume she doused herself in, but her B.O. intermingled with hairspray. She was a reject from the Drew Carey show.

My fucking eyes watered and I was choked up everytime she was around, if I saw her coming I would exit as quickly as possible. I actually saw her smirk once because she caught me doing it... perhaps they like causing pain?

Posted by: Oorgo at July 25, 2006 01:15 PM

I hate it when you walk into the bathroom, and it smells like total disgusting shit and some dude's Stetson. I mean, it's bad enough to smell it across the room, but being assaulted by the putrid mixture of the IT guy's shit and his cologne when he's not even in the goddamn room is just fucking obscene. Courtesy flush you fat fuck!

Posted by: shank at July 25, 2006 04:55 PM

I knew a lady who was counselled a few times and finally fired for her perfume. Like Oorgo's broad, this one used it to mask her BO.

Posted by: Ted at July 25, 2006 06:10 PM

Just vomit on the motherfuckers.

I do.

Posted by: Bane at July 25, 2006 06:18 PM

I worked with someeone like that. It was appalling. These idiots just don't know. You have to tell them they stink.

Posted by: Shawn at July 29, 2006 01:58 PM
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