In my opinion, there's a lot of complete bullshit out there regarding men's grooming. Cleaning yourself is a pretty simple process, and there's an entire industry built on selling products to the public that do the vast majority of us no good at all. I'm beginning to lose interest in this whole 'How to be a Man' thing, so this'll be quick and dirty.

Showering - If you look in your shower and see more than two bottles, you're losing your grip on your own masculinity. A guy needs a bottle of shampoo, and maybe a bottle of conditioner or some kind of bottled soap instead of a bar. Let's be honest here, anything else is more effort than I'd want to put forth to get clean. You don't need a different kind of soap for every part of your body, either; so you can eighty-six the facial cleansers, moisturizing rubs, and exfoliating gels. Your face gets enough attention with regular soap and a shave.

Shaving - I prefer shaving with a blade as opposed to a handheld electric, but that's just me. My hair doesn't grow fast or thick, either; so I can usually go a day or two without having to shave. Plus, I think there are a lot of pleasant side-effects of shaving with a blade. I usually don't go with a scented shave gel or anything; I run a pretty run of the mill foam. My grandpa taught me how to shave, and he actually used the old-school method with a foam brush and everything; so there's a bit of nostalgia there for me. I recently picked up Gilette's new five blade razor, and have been pleased with it. It was inexpensive too, because I bought it (and a set of replacement blades) at a cheap introductory price when they first came out. It shaves nicely, and seems to last longer. Don't bother with the electric impulse BS either. That's just retarded. For more info on shaving, there's actually a ShaveBlog that will give you all the indepth info you could ask for.

Hair - I have short hair, so for me it stays pretty simple: shampoo, hair gel. I don't have a part either, when I get a haircut I just have them clean it up. A dab of gel in the morning the size of a pea, a little hand tousle; and I'm out the door. The less crap you put in your hair, the less you'll look like a complete ass. Loading up on hairspray, gel, mousse, and brillcream is only going to be harsh on your hair and give you the appearance of an uptight dillhole. If you have longer hair, I guess using a little conditioner might help; but I wouldn't know because I'm not a hippie.

Shoes - I work in an office, which unfortunately means I have to wear ties and nice shoes. A nice set of shoes is a pain in the ass, because they need to be polished every week or so. My old man was military, and in my childhood I used to sit with him while he polished his shoes and polish my own. It's pretty simple, and can be done while watching a TV show or sitting on the porch with a beer. Supplies are cheap: a soft shoe brush, the appropriate polish (usually sold by color, I use parade gloss black), a soft peice of cloth (an old t-shirt works perfectly), and some edge/sole shine. Put one hand in the shoe, and use the brush or cloth in your other to remove any dust and loose debris from the outside shoe leather. After sufficiently clean, apply the polish to the entire shoe in circular strokes similar to the motion you'd use with car wax. Let it sit for a minute or two, and buff with the brush. For a higher shine, you can do a second coat and then buff with the cloth moistened. I've had military buddies who swear by heating the polis up with a lit match, but I think they just do that because it's an excuse to light something on fire.

Clothes - I'll admit, I have a simple approach to this. I try to by wrinkle-proof clothes when I can, but you have to be choosey with your brands here, as some wrinkle free stuff is made out of burlap. If you know how to iron, that's great for you. I don't. So I'm either subject to the kindness of my wife, or taking my pressable clothes to a dry cleaner. See, wrinkle-free is the way to go. Contrary to popular myth, you can wash coloreds and whites together. The father of my first college roommate ran a cleaners, and he knew all these great shortcuts for washing laundry. Using cold water will allow you to wash anything in the same load that's not brand new or prone to shrinkage. Although I must admit, whites come out better in hot water with a little bleach and detergent. Stain removal can be a bitch, but if you splash the area immediately with cold water, you should be straight. If that's not possible, hit it with a stain remover when you get home. 'Shout' has this great product that comes in a squeeze bottle and has a bristled applicator - and you can apply it and leave it on until you're ready to do laundry, you don't have to wash it immediately. Whatever you do, don't rub; dab. You don't want to push the stain further into the cloth, and you don't want to apply heat. Heat denatures the proteins in biological stains (blood, wine, other food related stains) and helps them set. Or something.

Oh, and clip your fingernails.