Snooze Button Dreams
Snooze Button Dreams
Snooze Button Dreams
August 18, 2008
Do You Remember The Time...
(Category: shankonomics )

...When a mere tropical depression sent the price of oil through the roof? Oh golly gee, it looks like the fundamentals are taking over in the oil market! Oh Noes!

Let's see, decreasing demand in America, the end of fuel subsidies in China, and rapid global deflation* equals what? A decrease in the price of oil in the face of a Gulf Coast hurricane. I claim victory and my righteous place as economics seer of the year.

Unfortunately, such pronouncements not only have the contrarian effect of dooming me to any forseeable future success in these markets; but they also actually ruin any chances I ever had of claiming some sort of social life.

The upside is that I shorted a market that was at $145, and it ended at $112 today. Too bad the money I made will never be enough to fill the void that keeping up with this ridiculously volatile market left in my already depreciated character. Good Lord, I am such a loser.

Continue reading "Do You Remember The Time..."
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August 15, 2008
Fish or Cut Bait?
(Category: Auto Blogging )

With the inescapable fate of progeny looming in my future, The Wife has occasionally prodded me to trade in my current vehicle, a 2000 Honda Prelude SH with which I have a long-standing and admittedly perverse love affair, for something with four doors.

Car shopping is probably the only kind of shopping I enjoy, or even tolerate. For someone like me, car shopping is a journey years in the making. I generally don't prefer brand new vehicles, as their high prices and immediate depreciation make my bunghole pucker. However, when I know I'm going to need a new car in the coming three years, I'll peruse the current new models so that I know what will be on the used lots when I'm finally ready to buy. If you drive it while it's new, you'll have a baseline to compare it to when it's used. Plus, there's the no-strings-attached test driving.

Lately, I really like the 2008 Acura TL Type-S
. Of course, for that to drop into the price range I'm comfortable with could easily be three years. The '07's are still in the high twenties.

I thought briefly about the BMW M3, but quickly dropped that idea for two reasons. One, I don't think they come with 4 doors; and two, I may be a prick, but I'm not nearly the prick it takes to drive an M3. Of course, there are still a variety of 3-series sedans which can be had for the mid twenties with low mileage. That I could go for, but there's something about a BMW that makes my reliability gauge waiver. I'm just not sure they've got what Toyota or Honda do.

Speaking of Toyota, there are some very nice IS models out there. I remember when these first started coming out about four years ago. They fall perfectly into the sporty sedan genre. I was very close to buying one when I bought my prelude, but they were a little outside my range. NOw they can be had for the low twenties all the way up to the high twenties depending on model year.

The spoiler for all of this, though, is that none of these cars are all-around better than my current vehicle. The Prelude handles better than all of these sedans do. It gets better mpg than all of these sedans do. The only two areas where it fails are power (175hp vs the mid-200's these sedans make) and space. Lack of space is a fairly weak argument, since the Prelude has four seatbelts, so I could put a child seat in the rear.

Of course, it also doesn't help that the Prelude is paid for with only 63,000 miles on it. Which means two things:
1) It's a 'free' vehicle
2) No one will ever pay me what I think it's worth.

The autophile and the miser inside me are muddying the waters. The issue has become far too nebulous for me to make a clear choice. I suppose I should take that as a sign that it's not buying time yet. Sigh. I suppose I'll just keep window shopping until an ultimatum surfaces.

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August 13, 2008
Return of the Flying Pig party?
(Category: News & Notes )

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August 11, 2008
Olympic Blogging
(Category: Current Events/Pop Culture )

I've yet to get confirmation, but I've got to assume that Bob Costas' contract stipulates that he must not be on screen with a taller man, who is not an athlete; because I swear to God they've put a 6-foot dude in a stuffed bra and a brown wig, and named him Mary Carillo. She got a voice like a fucking violone, for Pete's sake.

On the other end of the spectrum, we have Kerri Walsh. As if Women's Beach Volleyball needed the ratings boost. Thank you sweet baby Jesus.

Gymnastics, for all it's prancing, arm-lifting, ribbon-twirling flamboyance; is a staggering display of atheleticism. I tried gymnastics when I was in middle school. It lasted until we got to the rings, and my instructor noted, rather nonchalantly, that if we swung incorrectly we would dislocate one or both shoulders. I was like "Oh hey, um. I was just looking for something to do between soccer seasons, so I'm just going to ah, bow out at this point...given the...that um, the idea of two simultaneously dislocated shoulders made my balls shrivel into my abdominal cavity. So, ya'll have fun." Those people are strong to, like chimpanzees they are.

Just watched Phelps win his 9th career gold medal in the 200m freestyle; breaking the world record just for good measure. The only two Americans to ever win that many golds were two randoms named Carl Lewis and Mark Spitz. Whoever they are. I mean, who watches the Olympics anyways, right?

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August 06, 2008
Your Daily WTF? for 8/6/'08
(Category: )

I just saw a dude wearing capri pants.

I thought that was weird, then I noticed he had shaved legs.

I thought that was weird too. Then I noticed he was the spitting image of Dee Snider; and I was like 'WTF!?'.

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August 04, 2008
Hurrincane Survival Kit
(Category: The Cage )

Okay, so it looks like I will have to craft a serious response for De. Of course, I'm sure she probably knows as much about weathering a hurricane as I or anyone else who lives in a hurricane prone area.

For anyone reading this who may have actually come here looking for real tips on how to survive a hurricane: 1. You're absolutely fucked. 2. I would provide a link, but I'm a Darwinian and if this page is all you could dig up on the web; then your genes must perish for the sake of the herd.

Granted, the storm De's currently referring to is a mere blip on the screen. The only thing she really needs to do is get a party hat on and head down to the corner bar. But I figured I might as well put up a good surivial list that will help you get through most any medium term power outage. Anything beyond a week or more, and your best bet is to hunker down with some ammo and await fixed wing and artillery support.

Without further ado, the Hurricane Survival Kit:

1. Beer, ice, and water. There's no point in stockpiling liquor, as you won't want to waste ice keeping mixers cool. Just a giant cooler or four filled with these three key ingredients. The beer is for survival, and the water and ice are to keep it cold. Warm beer is a recipe for depression, and we all know that survival requires a Positive Mental Attitude.
2. Toilet Paper. Pretty self explanatory. Shit-covered hands are no good at helping you drink beer.
3. For food, you're going to need to stick to canned goods and things you can grill; which means you'll need a can opener and some propane/charcoal/firewood. I suggest a mix of both propane and firewood; because of the entertainment value of a roaring fire. Especially when it's on someone else.
4. Which brings me to the last item you'll need: a few other people, I recommend good friends.

Some people have suggested including boardgames and the like. I have to respectfully disagree, and here's why. The only kind of person who's going to include a boardgame on their survival list is a hopeless fucking dork. Which is not to say we're trying to rule them out of your group of friends, Lord knows we've all got a dorky friend or two. You're just going to have to ask them not to bring the game. You see, these are the kind of people who will bring some nerdy game that they love, but which everyone else is kind of 'Meh' about. Like say, Risk. Of course, everyone else in the group will play a round or two of the game; but when Dorky McLosernut's beer supply begins to run low (and everyone knows goddamn well that he only brought good beer because he knew it would grease the wheels of a thirty-fucking-six hour Risk marathon); resentment will set in. Discord is a real pain in the ass in survival situations, because it usually results in killing. Killing is serious business, and you're not going to have the right tools in a survival situation to cover your tracks properly. If you want to have a form of amusement (besides fire, nature's television) I would recommend something like horseshoes, bocci ball, or the like. They're entertaining, but mindless enough to keep people from wanting to gut each other.

If you've got other neccesities that you'd recommend go ahead and share.

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August 01, 2008
Umm...
(Category: Politics - Humor's Last Refuge )

Check this shit out:


Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) and the Democrats adjourned the House and turned off the lights and killed the microphones, but Republicans are still on the floor talking gas prices....

...GOP leaders opposed the motion to adjourn the House, arguing that Pelosi's refusal to schedule a vote allowing offshore drilling is hurting the American economy...

...Democratic aides were furious at the GOP stunt, and reporters were kicked out of the Speaker's Lobby, the space next to the House floor where they normally interview lawmakers....

...Republican leaders just sent out a notice looking for a bullhorn and leadership aides are trying to corral all the members who are still in town to come speak on the floor and sustain this one-sided debate....

...Update 4 - The scene on the floor is kind of crazy. Normally, members are not allowed to speak directly to the visitor galleries, or visitors are prohibited from cheering. But in this case, the members are walking up and down on the floor during their speeches, standing on cheers, the visitors are cheering loudly. Some members even brought in visitors, who are now sitting on the House floor in the seats normally filled by lawmakers, cheering and clapping. Very funny.

Democrats faced a choice here - should they leave the cameras on and let Republicans rip Pelosi & Co. on C-Span, or should they leave the cameras off and let the Republicans have their "tantrum," as one Democratic aide characterized it, with the cameras off. So the cameras are off, but Republicans, and the crowd, are clearly enjoying the scene...

I'm a little surprised that the Democrats have decided to die on this hill. This is something that a surprising majority (70-75%, depending on your poll of choice) of people support. Now they look like selfish, do-nothing's who won't represent their constituents. Hmm.

You know, the more I think about this, the more I find it irritating that the Democrats have basically walked out on the people. It shouldn't matter what side of the aisle you're on, when 70% of American's want a ban on offshore drilling lifted, it should get at least a voting opportunity. I mean, come the fuck on, people! I hope the Republicans make a huge scene about this. They're finally speaking for the vast majority of Americans, on an issue that is central to all of us.

Update, from the same article:


Update 6 - Rep Devin Nunes (R-Calif.) just pretended to be a Democrat. He stood on the other side of the chaber and listed all of the GOP bills that the Dems killed.

He then said "I am a Democrat and here is my energy plan" and he held up a picture of an old VW Bug with a sail attached to it. He paraded around he house floor with the sign while the crowd cheered.

I can't believe no one's getting this on video.

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Things That Go Bump In The Night
(Category: Friday Blogging )

So I woke up on my livingroom couch at approximately 4:30am this morning; which was highly unsettling, as I distinctly remember falling asleep in my bed last night. WTF.

I mean, I know I went to sleep in my damn bed. The only time I got out of bed was shortly before I fell asleep. The Wife was working the night shift, so I jumped up to check the locks and what not, and returned to bed. I mean, I'm sure I got back in bed. Why wouldn't I return to bed? Why would I get up, check the locks, and go sleep on the couch? And if I did, wouldn't I remember doing that?

That shit is weird, bro. I've never been known to be a sleep-walker; but that's not what worries me. If I did, in fact, get up in the middle of the night and walk out to the couch to sleep, what the fuck else did I do?

What if I walked around the yard once or twice? What do you think the neighbors would think of that shit? Their redneckass neighbor wandering the streets in the middle of the night, wearing his boxers and a smile. What if I'd have left the fridge open, or the stove on? I mean, I'm goddamn lucky I didn't kill myself or destroy something.

Maybe I should have The Wife chain me up each night, like they shackle werewolves and stuff in the movies; so that I don't end up a menace. Then they'd have no choice but to put me down; and we can't be havin' that shizzle my nizzle.

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