Snooze Button Dreams
Snooze Button Dreams
Snooze Button Dreams
May 04, 2006
Another reason why weddings are dangerous
(Category: Cheeses of Nazareth )

Aside from drunken hookups with skanks and having to dance to poorly chosen music, the bouquet toss has always been a peril. I’ve seen chicks smash into the cake table trying to catch the bouquet on more than one occasion.

Now it appears they’ve got snipers waiting in the woods. This chick went for the bouquet and got shot.

On a related note, nothing gives me more pleasure than when a crass, drunken idiot catches the garter and a shy, demure lass in revealing clothing catches the bouquet. When the guy starts pushing that thing up the girl’s leg everybody in the place is uncomfortable. The drunks are shouting and the uptight relatives are holding their breath and the chick looks like she’d rather be tied to a red ant mound and than have Cletus come at her with the garter.

And as the video rolls she desperately tries to mentally transport herself away from the scene while Cletus, who’s been doing shots for several hours, threatens to cross the line. It’s always been my favorite part, save the times I had to do it. I found it almost as humiliating as the girl.

Posted by Paul! | Permalink | TrackBack (0)
Comments

You know, at my reception we did the whole 'Take The Garter Off With Your Teeth' thing.

I tell ya, there's nothing stanger than feigning oral sex with your wife right in front of your entire family. Woo. Hoo.

Posted by: shank at May 4, 2006 11:21 AM

That happened at my cousins wedding. The second bit, nto teh shooting, we're not that redneck. My uncle's best friend is a dirty old man (as i aspire towards some day) adn garter catcher, while the lass ith the bouquet was the 14 year old cousin of the bride. He licked his lips, my cousin the groom, called it off.still god for a brief larff.

Posted by: tommy at May 4, 2006 10:25 PM
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