Snooze Button Dreams
Snooze Button Dreams
Snooze Button Dreams
January 07, 2005
Ouch!
(Category: True Stories )

I had the weirdest thing happen to me yesterday. While preparing the plates for dinner I started getting a nauseous feeling and a pain in my gut. No, it was not a biological commentary on Lovely Wife's cooking - the food was excellent as always.

I ignored it and we sat down and began to eat. The pain got worse. Quickly. Within a minute or two it was so bad I couldn't sit up straight and I was breaking out in a cold sweat. It felt like somebody had smashed me in the belly with a mattock.

I excused myself and laid down on the couch. Within a few minutes it had passed. I went back to the table where Lovely Wife, after making sure I was indeed okay, told me about this weird thing that had happened to her earlier in the day. She had an episode with nausea and intense gut pain that hit her and left within a couple of minutes.

What the hell was this? I've heard of the 24 hour flu. Is there some freaky 5 minute flu going around?

Posted by Jim | Permalink
Comments

This is absolutely not a commentary on your dietary habits, your onion intake, or anyone's cooking-it just sounds like a case of the really bad gas.

Seriously.

Sometimes you can get pockets of them that hurt like a big dog, and once they clear an area in your rumbly bits, the pain goes away.

Take it from a chick with IBS. It can happen.

Posted by: Helen at January 7, 2005 12:17 PM

Oh, wow. You mean you get this sort of pain regularly? Holy shit.

I've got no problem with pain. Me and pain go way back. Case in point - I was a lacrosse goalie. That means I voluntarily accepted a position where my purpose was to impose my body between the goal and a concrete ball traveling at 100 mph. That's what it felt like when it hit you, anyway. And it hit me pretty regularly. I have not matured any since then.

Still, I have no idea how I would cope with this particular pain if it happened frequently. It was that bad.

Posted by: Jim at January 7, 2005 12:27 PM

Maybe you're pregnant.

Posted by: Victor and his seventeen pet rats at January 7, 2005 12:49 PM

Can't be. I just had my period.

Posted by: Jim at January 7, 2005 12:59 PM

Dude.. I've had the same thing happen to me recently. I got all hot and broke out into a cold sweat while I was on the toilet. It was rough! It passed a little later.

I went to the doctor the next day, and after a few tests and X Rays he devised that I was in fact being eaten from the inside out by a parasitic twin I had been hosting since birth.

Seriously, though... Do you take alot of aspirin? Over the counter pain medications?

Posted by: Dortch at January 7, 2005 01:06 PM

No, I haven't taken an over the counter medication in weeks. I use the good stuff from the guy on the corner.

I am taking piroxicam but none of the symptoms include evil twin gnawing an escape route or 10 pound hammer in the belly.

Posted by: Jim at January 7, 2005 01:13 PM

Ahhh, that happens to me all the time. Just eat more Twizzlers and Pepsi... it'll clear right up. 8^)

Posted by: tre at January 7, 2005 02:02 PM

Hmmm...if you're getting it all the time maybe it's caused by Twizzlers and Pepsi. ;)

I'm not allowed to drink Pepsi in any case. Just being seen with one in Atlanta is considered just cause for a lynching.

Posted by: Jim at January 7, 2005 02:11 PM

Helen,IBS is what they told me but never gave me meds for it (not that I would take them anyways LOL).Even had a "stool" sample test.Wonder if they ever checked for parasites?They did when I was a kid...had worms (WTF?).Wonder if something is still lingering arround?One of my kids had that...lots of pain and they never found anything untill years later they found the parasites.PAin was cured within days.

Posted by: LW at January 7, 2005 02:52 PM

Yeah....screw Pepsi!Coke rules,Pepsi doesn't even go up my noose!

Posted by: LW at January 7, 2005 02:54 PM

You ever wonder what would have happened in Alien if the burster had decided to hit the snoozebutton...?

Seriously though folks, I'm with Helen on this one.

Posted by: Rob at January 7, 2005 04:17 PM

Jim,
I have IBS too. Something you never want. You ever watch Sopranos? Adrianna? That's me to a T. Stress triggers it.
I rather go through child birth again than have an IBS episode.

But what you had did sound like gas. Did you fart? NO never mind I don't wanna know.

Posted by: Tiffani at January 7, 2005 04:27 PM
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