(with apologies to Rodgers & Hammerstein)
Democracies flourish and terrorists frying;
Consumers with money and Arafat dying;
Third world nations removing their kings;
These are a few of my favorite things.
When the news blows,
When the web slows,
When I'm feeling mad,
I simply remember my favorite things,
And then I don't feel so bad.
Moore getting fatter and Dan Rathers' firing;
Peterson busted and WalMart is hiring;
Cutting off deadbeats from our apron strings;
These are a few of my favorite things.
When the French speak,
When my bones creak,
When I'm feeling mad,
I simply remember my favorite things,
And then I don't feel so bad.
Football on TV and boobs in our faces;
Kerry defeated and panties with laces;
Politicians in oceans without water wings;
These are a few of my favorite things.
When the car stalls,
When the roof falls,
When I'm feeling mad,
I simply remember my favorite things,
And then I don't feel so bad.
[applause, whistles, cheers]
A thing of beauty :-)
That was fabulous! No apologies to Rodgers and Hamerstein seem necessary.
Wow. Tour de force.
We did one of these in college. The refrain went:
When the dog barks,
When the bee stings,
When I'm on the raaaaag,
I simply remember my favorite things
And then my old tits don't saaaaaaag.