Wow! All this time and all this correspondence and I was spelling my own impersonated name incorrectly. Special thanks to Kimberly/sapphire for showing me the correct spelling. Speaking of Kimberly/sapphire, she's one of the two latest rocket scientists to mistake SBD for MTV:

From: Kimberly

Hello Its yah girl sapphire to xzibit and pimp my ride fellas. I have a very different case I live in Minnesota and I have major problem just read! I have very sweet brother his name is josiah, all he does is try to help me my family and his self. He has a two year old son in africa he never sees he could barely could send him money because he's always buried in bills and car troubles. Josiah has a 79 Benz but it's more like it's falling off the henges for instance, we got stranded on the hyway because she smoked until she choked. He's a twenty eight year old struggling college student, working a temp job tryna make ends into dollas, I just think he deserves a break with a special wish from me to the guys at mtvs pimp my ride.He would be so thankful and I thank you all from the bottom of my heart P.S. If mtv can't come out here I'm still MTV and Xzibit greatest fan holla!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Phew! No pressure for this one. She'll still be my greatest fan even if I don't pimp her bro's ride. That's good since there's precisely zero chance that I'll do so.

I think Kimberly/sapphire deserves a reworked first contact email and disclaimer. Here's what I'm sending her:

To: Kimberly/sapphire

Subject: The pimpalicious Xzibit is at your service, you sweet thang

yo kimber!

what up fly sapphire girl? i got yo note about yo bro and his sad sorry ride. just fo u im puttin it on the GO list but first i need something from u. i gotta see the car and i gotta know u for real. see i been getting a shitload of fake requests through emails - people think they can punk me by wasting my time this way. xzibit dont play that. here's what you do...

take a pic of the car with you in front of it holding a sign that says "GOTTA GET ME SOME SBD". SBD is Seriously Bitchin Detail. send that picture back to me at this address.

this way i know u for real and I can see if the car is base worthy of being on my show. clever ain't i? shit, yeah!

keep on watchin Pimp My Ride, baby!

keep on keepin on,
Xzibit

Disclaimer: Anything sent to me or entered at my website becomes the property of me to do with wholly and exclusively as I wish. Snooze Button Dreams has absolutely no connection with MTV, Pimp My Ride or anything else of a fiscally successful nature. It might be considered mean of me to pick on people who ask me to put thousands of dollars into their vehicle because they are too stupid to notice the difference between a blog and MTV but I think of it more as picking on retards. Sure it's not something you can make a living out of but damn is it ever fun! MTV has sucked monkey ass for years anyway. They jumped the shark with the very first Real World when they decided that cheap programming was preferable to broadcasting videos. I blame them almost exclusively for the advent of "Reality Television", may their black souls rot in perpetual agony in the darkest fiery pits of hell. Duff was the hottest V-J ever and I've seen her boobies.

Our second rocket surgeon is ruthie. I'm going out on a limb here but I conjecture that there are virtually no habitual watchers of MTV who capitalize their own names. Or maybe the ones who capitalize their own names are smart enough to tell the difference between my blog and the actual MTV site? Anyway, ruthie writes:

From: ruthie

I am a 45 year old lady. Me and my husband always buy a car for are kids when they turn 16. By the way we have 3 girls. And the yougest one will be 16 on sept. 21, She is very happy that she will be getting a car. But my husand is 75 and can't work and I got lade off my job. And we just don't have the money to, it is going to make her really upset about it. Put we have a 87 nissan station wagion that runs but it needs to be pimped because it is so ugly. And we want her b-day to be a day she want forget.So please pimp her ride.

ruthie gets the newly updated letter, modificated for personalitization.

Will Jim get a second photo with a personalized SBD message? Will MTV come down on him like a flock of politicians on an indiscriminate donor? Stay tuned to find out!

A post explaining what all this Pimp stuff is about.
Previous episodes (reverse chronology).
The post that started it all.