McDonalds has a new Unhappy Meal featuring a salad and a bottle of water. John at Zug.com has the down-lo.

The booklet also has a radical, crazy new walking program designed by Oprah's trainer, which I will summarize for you now:

1) Measure the amount you walk per day.
2) Gradually walk more.
3) Repeat until tired.

Surely Oprah gets better advice than this, right? The guy pulls in 500 large a year just to tell Oprah to get off her ham-fed ass and walk? If walking is considered exercise, then opening the refrigerator door should also be exercise. And let's not forget masturbation, which increases upper arm strength. Why couldn't Oprah's trainer make a Masturbometer?

Don't miss John's prank call to McDonalds customer service.

(Hat tip to WetWired)