Heathony wrote back again. I think I scared the little guy a bit.

From: Heath

Hey Xibit its my dad (anthony) just that im usein my friends heath e-mail address cause i don't have one k dogg srry for da confusin but ill try gather some hunnies up n send em to ya k

peace out

Now hold on a second here. His dad is Anthony and his friend is Heath. So who the hell is he? I guess he'll remain Heathony for now. What's up with using a friend's Hotmail addy? Did they start charging for these things and nobody told me? Ah, screw it. I'm having fun here.

From: Xibit

aight, lemme git this strate. yo dads is anthony. yo friend is heath. u doan even got yo own email addy so u usin yo boyz hotmail account. u do no that hotmail addyz is free right? well lil bro i gots to say this doan soun so hot to the homies. funk mastah flex say u is playin me big time. roni moe-d thinks u ashton kutchner and u tryin to punk my show. even fly grrrl jeni-d-cup sez this sounds like old fish smells.

no what i tol em? i tol em to bite me, that what i tol em. i sez “my lil homie jus tryin to do rite wit his dads, yo. boy gots a righteous pop and want his pop in a fly ride and he just tryin to git it done. i doan care what his real name is, he’s my bro heathony, y’all.”

that shut em up pretty good. sides, it doan really matter anyway since you gotta sign all the papers wit you pops name since u’r a minor.

so did the grafx i sent last time look fly or what? freakin smokin, my man. smokin! u gots to check that tracked vehicles are legit for wisconsin roads. some states doan let em on the routes cause they rip up the asfault so bad.

still waitin on pics o yo hotties, bro. git em in quick cause we gonna be making final selection soon.

peace out, lil bro!

Xibit

You'll notice I kicked it up a notch. I completely abandoned capital letters and inserted two made-up people who (I pray) are not part of the show ("roni moe-d" and "fly grrrl jeni-d-cup"). Notice the "d" theme there. I also put in some spellings I recognize from the sk8r lingo instead of hip-hop and cranked the phoenetic spelling way up. Will these clues be enough to tip Heathony off? Will he (or his 'friend' Heath) ever read the fine print?

Incidentally, the fine print has been updated a bit. It now reads:

All items sent to xibit@sbd.mu.nu (Xibit) become the sole property of Snooze Button Dreams and may be used in any nefarious manner that the proprietor wishes. There is no contest and therefore no way to win it. Snooze Button Dreams is not affiliated in any way with the Pimp My Ride show or any other show for that matter. Personally I think the vast majority of pimped out cars look like shit. Talk about mass marketed individuality. I mean seriously, get a clue. If you’re tricking out your car so it looks just like everybody else’s tricked out car then all you are is a poser. Anything sent by me as “Xibit” is a load of made up garbage for entertainment purposes only and what the hell sort of name is Xibit anyway. Sounds like a bad 80’s arcade game.

Will the madness never end? Will Heathony ever send me pictures of hotties? Stay tuned.