Cheese is best when properly aged so this extremely late Cheddar X should be phenomenal!

1. What's the best porn name you've seen or invented?
The problem with porn names are that they are a joke but you get the feeling that the people that pick them don't get it. They try to make use of double entendre and come up with names that could either be that of a bank president or a professional vagina stuffer. The best porn names are the ones that are obvious fakes with no attempt at coming up with something that could even remotely be considered normal. Names like "Long Dong Silver", "Breasty Humpsalot" and "Sylvester Stalone" are among my favorites.

2. What's the most recent thing you've eaten off the ground?
Christmas morning was a frenzy with psychotic children throwing paper and presents all over the place. They had each been given a package of fruit snacks to tide them over. One package remained unopened, one was consumed and the other was scattered about the place. As I came across these cherry blobs of remarkably unfruitlike goodness I would either toss them into the wrapping paper discard box or put them on the table, depending on which I was closest to. There came a time when I found myself equidistant and quite far away from either of my fruit disposal locations and there was one of the demonic childish red gummy blobs right next to me. I don't know if it was the stress of the morning, my inability to decide which of two equal disposal options to use or simply my own natural perversity, but I ate that sucker. It tasted remarkably like a cherry gummy bear and (as previously noted) about as unlike real fruit as you can possibly imagine.

3. What's your favorite meal (sneaking suspicion this has been asked before)?
Pizza. With meat. Or almost any form of meat,even without pizza.

4. What's the lamest blog name you know of?
I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it may incriminate me. Or at least get me removed from a blogroll.

5. Which blogger would you most like to meet in person?
Ooh, I hate these questions. It's like when Bear asks me who I love the most (out of the 3 boys) and I have to say something like "I love you all the same amount" or "Whoever gives me the best present on Father's Day" or something like that.

6. What is the most surprising thing about you?
Boo! Did that surprise you? No? Well I'll have to drop back on the fact that I've been in the pokey twice in my life, once for an overnight stay.

7. What is the best new word you've learned or made up?
I'm still very fond of "callipygian". That means "having shapely buttocks". So elegant, so titilating.