Snooze Button Dreams
Snooze Button Dreams
Snooze Button Dreams
April 23, 2007
Earth Day
(Category: Flaming Asses )

I wanted to do my part on this important day, so Saturday night I ate two bowls of chili with kidney and black beans, 3 bowls of lentil soup and two generous helpings of black bean salad with corn and jalapenos. With extra beans. Sunday I spent the day outside spewing methane gas into the atmosphere, if you know what I mean, and I think you do.

If you want to do your part for global warming, go to a Sheryl Crow concert. The more people we can get to attend one of these pompous-assfests, the bigger the carbon footprint. Sheryl Crowe's busses may run on soybean juice but I bet your SUV doesn't!!

And don't forget to exhale when you breath, earth-rapers!! If Sheryl and the jackasses that go to her global warming concert were serious, they would all kill themselves when the concert was over. Viola! Eternally carbon neutral!

Posted by Will | Permalink | TrackBack (0)
Comments

It feels as though I am remiss in the abusing-you-for-no-reason department, so I'm just popping in to say you suck.

And Sheryl is smoking something if she thinks I'm gonna give up toilet paper. One square?!

Posted by: Jennifer at April 23, 2007 03:23 PM

I heard that too. I bet her fat ass uses half a roll when she takes a dump.

Thanks for sucky comment!

Posted by: Bill at April 23, 2007 03:37 PM

One square? She should be blugeoned to death.

Posted by: Paul at April 23, 2007 06:02 PM

Yah, and apparently in the waiver she sends to venues about things that the elite need... in order to sing like the silly monkey that you are...she indicates that she needs a "inconspicuous" place for her 8 rigs and tour busses.

Environmentally friendly...my ass...does she limit the amount of squares amongst her staff? Maybe they use their hands instead for fear of offending her.

Posted by: Denny at April 24, 2007 11:31 AM

Yes Denny but they all run on soybean juice which is not only good for the environment, it's low in cholesterol.

And if she practices what she preaches, re: the one square, I'd hate to smell what her seat on the bus smells like. And if they're all using just one square, imagine what the bus smells like. Eek!

Posted by: Bill at April 24, 2007 02:57 PM

Okay.

Firstly, using only one square is disgusting. It takes me several pulls and wipes to properly clean my bung, postshit. Not only that, but one courtesy flush and one final flush are pretty much de rigeur.

Secondly, how the fuck are you supposed to wipe 'til it's clean with one goddamned square? Either that bitch thinks she's shitting roses or she doesn't mind having one of the gnarliest, dingleberriest, crustiest rims this side of...well, this side of Jennifer.

Whoever the hell that is.

Posted by: shank at April 24, 2007 05:18 PM

Shank, I thought you said you were leaving now that Bill is here. You fucking liar.

Posted by: Jennifer at April 24, 2007 06:24 PM

Lurker. You don't even have a website anymore, so shut it you shrew.

Posted by: shank at April 24, 2007 08:25 PM

"...she doesn't mind having one of the gnarliest, dingleberriest, crustiest rims this side of...well, this side of Jennifer."

Just wow.

Posted by: Jake at April 25, 2007 01:00 PM
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