Via Jenelle:

1) How old do you wish you were? I'm pretty good with where I'm at. Besides, if I wanted to be younger that would mean moving back in with Mom and Dad. Fuck that noise.

2) Where were you when 9-11 happened? I don't recall exactly, but I was walking to class when I first heard about it.

3) What do you do when vending machines steal your money? I've never been robbed by a vending machine.

4) Do you consider yourself kind? I wouldn't say that about myself, no. Not that I'm hateful, I'm just to logical and cynical to afford any sort of all-encompassing type of kindness towards all others.

5) If you had to get a tattoo, where would it be? Depends on what I was getting a tattoo for.

6) If you could be fluent in any other language what would it be? Spanish or Chinese.

7) Do you know your neighbors? I just moved to a new place, and have yet to meet (or even catch a glimpse of, really) the new neighbors. I have an odd feeling though, that they're all watching the two of us very closely. It's unsettling.

8) What do you consider a vacation? No worries.

9) Do you follow your horoscope? Nope.

10) Would you move for the person you loved? Yeah.

11) Are you touchy feely? Pretty much only in private. Not a big fan of PDA.

12) Do you believe that opposites attract? Of course I do. I mean, if Paula Abdul said it, it must be true.

13) Dream job? Sure, why not. I mean, if it's anything like a blow job or a hand job, I'd probably be willing to take one. Wait, you're not a cop are you?

14) Favorite channel(s)? Discovery, National Geographic, History, The Speed channel, Food Network, Comedy Central. I have favorite shows that don't come on those channels, but the channels my favorite shows come on are kind of generic and lame.

15) Favorite place to go on weekends? Home. Or to the bar, but the bar is getting kind of lame. Maybe I just need a new bar.

16) Showers or Baths? Shower, because there's something about sitting in a pool of my own filth that turns me off. and baths get cold. Although now that you mention it, I begin to wonder if penises float. I might have to take a bath just to see what happens.

17) Do you paint your nails? No.

18) Do you trust people easily? Depends on the person, and what exactly I'm trusting them with.

19) What are your phobias? The dark kind of freaks me out, especially when I'm alone. I also worry about getting into deadly car accidents, plane crashes, The Wife getting robbed, beaten, and raped by some psycho meth addict; my family, money, you know; pretty much everything.

20) Do you want kids? Yeah, but you could also put them under 'Phobias'.

21) Do you keep a handwritten journal? I did when I was younger, but eventually it just felt kind of lame.

22) Where would you rather be right now? Since I'm at work, I'd probably rather be just about anywhere this side of a dentist's chair.

23) What makes you feel warm and safe? A nice heavy parka and a fully loaded Beretta?

24) Heavy or light sleeper? The soundness of my sleep is directly related to the volume of alcohol consumed in the three hour period before I go to bed.

25) Are you paranoid? Of course. Aren't you?

26) Are you impatient? Highly.

27) Who can you relate to? The Wife and most well-behaved dogs.

28) How do you feel about interracial couples? I don't care. Unless it's an Armenian and a Slovak. God, that disgusts me.

29) Have you been burned by love? Not unless you count two mild UTI's, a slight bit of gonorreah, an experience with the clap, and herpes.

30) What's your life motto? Who the hell has a life motto? Seriously, if life was that simple there wouldn't be so many fucksticks running around.

31) What's your main ringtone on your mobile? It's two short pulses.

32) What were you doing at midnight last night? Sleeping.

33) Who was your last text message from? Actually, it was just a random number. Kind of weird.

34) Whose bed did you sleep in last night? Mine.

35) What color shirt are you wearing? Light blue.

36) What are you listening to right now? Nothing. I can hear the air handler and a clock or something.

37) Name three things you have on you at all times? Well, technically there's nothing I have on me at all times, except maybe some hair, some skin, and a wedding band.

38) What color are your bed sheets? Green or blue.

39) How much cash do you have on you right now? None, as usually is the case.

40) What is your favorite part of the chicken? I like buffalo wings, and chicken breasts can be really good too. Heck, even the carcass is good for stock.

41) What's your fav city/place? Ocracoke was really nice, and the NC mountains are great too. I think I'd like to go to Jackson Hole and explore the outlying areas there too.

42) I can't wait till . . . Retirement.

43) Who got you to set up a blog? Nobody really. I was reading them and decided that instead of leaving novel-length comments that nobody would read, I should just start a blog that nobody would read.

44) What did you have for dinner last night? Chicken salad.

46) Have you ever smoked? Yes.

47) Do you own a gun? No.

48) Tea or Coffee? Iced Tea, on occasion.

49) What is your secret weapon to lure in the opposite sex? Rohypnol.

50) Do you have A.D.D.? Pretty much.

51) What time did you wake up today? 7:00 and again at 7:10, and finally at 7:20 I surrendered to the snooze button.

52) Current worry? I have to pick one?

53) Current want? Hmmm, I'd like to have a hobby that isn't a lot of work but is still interesting and entertaining.

54) Favorite place to be? I like hanging out with The Wife.

55) Where would you like to travel in the future? I think I'd get a real kick out of Rome or Greece. I'd like to hit the Eurpean countryside too, but I can't decide which country.

56) Where do you think you'll be in 10 yrs? Not here, but we haven't decided where we're moving to yet.

57) Last thing you ate? Hashbrowns and juice.

58) What songs do you sing in the shower? Not a shower singer.

59) Last person that made you laugh? Who knows, I laugh a lot. Sometimes I laugh at people who aren't even trying to make me laugh.

60) Worst injury you've ever had? Never had any really bad injuries.

61) Does someone have a crush on you? Probably. My musk is pretty powerful.

62) What is your favorite candy? Not a big candy person, but I do like gourmet chocolate.

63) What song do you want played at your funeral? My Ding-a-Ling, by Chuck Berry.