So I read today that Ayatollah Ali Khameini has stated that, among other things, spanking the monkey during Ramadan is a no-no. Well, unless it's unintended masturbation and/or you don't jizz; in which case it's just an accident. I'm not sure exactly how one masturbates without the intention of masturbating, let alone how all this goes on without sealing the deal, as it were. I mean, in all honesty, if I had to go a month without releasing the hounds; that shit would probably happen in my sleep. The body has a way of taking care of itself, you know. I guess I could never be a good Muslim.

Which, that being said, I was never really a good Catholic either. Because I'm pretty sure I've never lasted an entire Lent without, in the Ayatollah's words; 'discharging'.

~
I came up with this idea a minute ago, and it's a real winner. See, I like my beer ice cold; and I mean, as close to frozen as possible without having any ice crystals in it. Ice crystals really fuck up a good beer.

Anyways, my awesome idea. You can't keep beer in a freezer, and I can't set the fridge low enough to keep my beer suitable cold without making the veggies and other items too cold. Apparently, it's lonely being a cold brew.

So I came up with an idea that will help keep my beer perfectly cold, without having to get entangled in the whole 'two fridge' situation. See, I bought a length of that large plastic flex-piping that people use for dryer exhaust. Then I cut a hole in the side of the freezer, right where the ice maker is. I cut the spigot off of a large funnel, and attached it to the end of the hose. Now, I have an automatic ice machine for my beer cooler. Just need to get some of that insulation stuff to wrap around the plastic flexpipe.

However, the house we're moving into has a full wet bar with it's own refridgerator; so this whole setup is merely temporary.

Except for the hole in the side of the freezer. I haven't figured out how I'm going to get that one past the landlord. So, you know, any ideas are greatly appreciated.