We don't normally dabble in politics here at SBD, and there's reasons for that, but every so often I feel the need to give a nod to the subject.

The reson why I tend to not get too technical when it comes to politics has two parts. Firstly, most people's opinions aren't for shit. And by most people, I mean a good 98% of the population. The vast majority of the human species is made up of complete morons, and as a species we owe just about everything we ever did to a splinter, a virtually non-existent minority, of decently or highly intelligent minds. Which leads me to the second part - not only has your opinion already been expressed by the intelligent mind that originated it, they probably did it better than you or I could; so the best way to forward your opinion is to keep your goddamn yap shut, lest ye muddy the waters and make yourself and your ideological fellow travelers look like a bunch of dumbfucks.

That being said, I'd imagine 50% of you out there will think this post is ignorant, simplistic, lowbrow horseshit. Which, that 50% of you should know, is the undeniable mark of a humorless boor.

Regardless of your personal politics or (shudder) party affiliation, you gotta agree that Islamofascism needs to go. It seems to me that some people seem to be passively, others actively, supporting a fascist element that does not seek coexistence with any other. Anyone who denies such an element exists and is being openenly and covertly supported is a moron, and I only say that because there is a wealth of information on the net proving the existence of such a phenomenon. Just run a google search on any of the following:
Adnan Hajj
IDF Ambulance Hoax
Greeen Helmet Man
Marijuana Somalia
Abdul Rahman
shank has a big ol' dong

Okay, so that last one doesn't really work; but the list goes on. The point I'm trying to get across is that this is a group of people who take very seriously their ideology that you join or die. Kind of like Vote or Die, except a little less voting and a lot more dieing. At any rate, in an effort to bring my point across to the lowest common denominator, I give you the top ten reasons Islamofascism sucks for you and I, the common man:

10. No pork. No spareribs, ham, butts, bacon, or tenderloin. Which in turn means no pulled pork sandwiches, no bacon-wrapped scallops (seriously, there's no other way to eat them), no spiral cut pineapple glazed ham, and NO BBQ. That loud clicking sound you just heard was the safety on every rifle, pistol, and shotgun from North Carolina to Missouri and down to Texas being disabled.
9. Standard of living. Yeah, the US isn't perfect, but show me one single country ruled by even a "moderate" Islamic government that exceeds, equals or evenly reasonably comes near the standard of living in the US. Seriously, we live in a place where not only our poor people are fat, but they get access to healthcare. Sure beats the shit out of living in misery while your government hoardes oil profits instead of spending the dough on social programs.
8. $1 worth of marijuana gets you 11 public lashings. That kind of strikes me as overkill, but hey, I live in a state whose #1 cashcrop is marijuana and I got my undergrad at a university that has been on a few High Times top ten lists. Look, I don't smoke pot; but let's just say I don't know anyone who hasn't and/or doesn't; and lashing that many people is going to really tax the system. You think the war on drugs is a big operation now, wait till we have to setup a branch that's responsible for whipping the shit out of hundreds of millions of Americans. The lines alone would be ten times worse than the DMV!
7. I find culture and history to be pretty cool. Islamofascists like the Taliban, on the other hand, completely destroyed giant statues of Buddha that had been standing in Afgahnistan since the 5th or 6th century. Imagine what these guys would to do Stonehenge, Easter Island, or Macchu Picchu if they had the opportunity.
6. Freedom of speech. Pretty much self explanatory.
5. No Jews. I mean, if your Jewish, I'd imagine this one hits home. If you're not Jewish though, think about how many great comedians we'd have to go without, were there no Jews. And the deli situation? I don't even want to think about it.
4. Islamofascists sentance people to death for converting from Islam to any other religion. Seriously, even in "moderate" countries these guys have to go to court to defend their right keep their heads. Granted, my head isn't good for much; but if it's all the same to you I'm kind of partial to it.
3. Islamofascists stone chicks to death for engaging in premarital sex. For the majority of us, this only ends in disaster.
2. Islamofascists stone homosexuals to death for engaging in any kind of sex. And for breathing. For the remainder not affected by reason 3, this only ends in disaster.

Just a sec here, let me do some mental math. We're not quite at reason #1 now; and we've already gotten rid of the Jews, the apostates, the fornicators, and the homosexuals. Along the way we've probably stoned the entire population of the Bible Belt (stubborn hicks wouldn't convert to Islam), maybe accidentally lashed a few potheads to death (hey, some people have a low threshold for the whip); smashed Mt. Rushmore, levelled the monuments in D.C. (including the entirety of the Smithsonian Institution); and a motherfucker can't even get his hands on a BLT. Shit, I'd settle for Slim Jim at this point. I guess it doesn't get any worse than that.

1. Oh wait, NO G#$DAMN M$%THERF@^&ING BEER!