Snooze Button Dreams
Snooze Button Dreams
Snooze Button Dreams
July 12, 2006
An important discovery
(Category: Random Observations )

Yesterday I posted some things about bloggers that annoy me. I realize now that I left out a big one. Some bloggers like to inflate their megalomaniac egos by letting on that they know “a secret.”

The secret is can be something involving national security, but usually it’s about another blogger. “I got a call last night and found out what the story is on Phil.” Yeah? Well no one knows who Phil is except for you and your three incestrous readers. You need to get dressed and go outside. Get yourself a 7-Eleven burrito or something.

All of these traits that are so prevalent in blogging are important. Adding up all these annoying little things over time will eventually be the sum total of a bloggers mental illness.

I suspect psychologists will be using blogs for diagnosing patients soon. I predict that within the next five years whenever you go to a shrink’s office the first question they’ll ask is, “Do you have a blog?”

It’s all there isn’t it? A year’s worth of posts would be gold for a shrink. High points, low points, paranoia and especially delusions of grandeur. And that’s just the small stuff. Add in multiple personality disorders and manic depression and now you’re really rolling.

The first shrink who thinks of this will probably get the Nobel prize.

You cannot tell me I’m wrong. I can look at three posts and tell if someone’s crazy. Hell, crazy makes for entertaining reading. But not everyone has a blog. Next questions, “Do you read or comment on any blogs?”

Hell if I was a shrink I’d be cruising the blogs all day looking for customers and writing emails.

Dear Tequillajohnny,

I was going through your archives and I couldn’t help but notice…

My work is done here. Thesis complete.

Posted by Paul! | Permalink | TrackBack (0)
Comments

I suppose you're right about using a blog as a psych diagnosis; but what about character bloggers? There are a lot of folks out there who use their blog as a padded room for some of their...less than palatable personality traits. Can you imagine the meds they'd want me on based solely on my blogging?

On the other side of that, there are many 'bloggers' whose posting shows little or no personality. Like you ever seen a picture of Glenn Reynolds? That guy could be burying his neighbors in the backyard for all I know! And what about Matt Drudge; whose self-titled blog has almost nothing to do with the person behind it. For all we know, these two could be closet sociopaths.

Posted by: shank at July 12, 2006 10:44 AM

All of what you say adds weight to my argument.

Character blogging? Very telling.

Also, lack of personality is a personality, albeit a shitty one.

Posted by: Paul at July 12, 2006 11:02 AM

Yeah, but blogging in character can be very subtle. I'd be willing to bet that of the non-political bloggers, easily 40% are character blogging. Of the BEST non-polotical blogs out there, probably 70% are character blogging in some fashion or another.* Just look at The Manolo and those types of blogs. Hell, I'd bet a few of the Four Honkies were character bloggers, and I know I sure as shit very rarely blog in a serious manner. I mean, who wants to read that shit?

Oh, you know what? The Wife has a BS in psychology. It might be kind of interesting to get her to build psychological profiles of each of us based solely on our blog entries. She's into forensic and profile psychology.

*Statistics collected by independant research; margin of error 1-40%.

Posted by: shank at July 12, 2006 11:21 AM

Character blogging, political blogging...it's all there. Choice of material, length of post, word choices, what tense they write in, anger level, how easily they go on tilt.

Between vocabulary and other key factors it's all there.

Roll out the profiles!

Posted by: Paul at July 12, 2006 11:32 AM

I know, this should be interesting. It might take a while though, but it'll be worth the wait.

Posted by: shank at July 12, 2006 11:40 AM

I'm character blogging, bitches.

I'd love to see these profiles!

Posted by: DeAnna at July 12, 2006 02:32 PM

Those profiles may be all kinds of bad, as in the nice men with happy pills are gonna take you away for electroshock therapy bad.

Posted by: phin at July 12, 2006 07:40 PM

I rarely blog out of character. Come to think of it, I rarely blog.

Posted by: Anna at July 13, 2006 12:54 AM
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