I see plenty of bloggers are excited about the World Cup.

If you’re a soccer fan, you probably don’t live in America. If you are a soccer fan living in America: I pity you. If you are a blogger who doesn’t even know how many men you need to field a team, let’s just be honest about it from the get-go. I suspect many bloggers will jump on this bandwagon because it’s the only one on the prairie.

I’m an unabashed soccer detractor. I fear things I don’t understand. If it were up to me, I would beat soccer to death with a stick—like a garter snake on the patio.