Snooze Button Dreams
Snooze Button Dreams
Snooze Button Dreams
April 19, 2006
I’ve huffed and I’ve puffed
(Category: Cheeses of Nazareth )

And I still have nothing.

Apropos of nothing, when I was in the sixth grade I was walking home from school and this kid started pushing me. His name was Eddie something and he was very peculiar looking. I don’t remember what his problem was but he pushed me and pushed me and very quickly a bunch of other kids gathered around in a big circle.

I stood there, somewhat dumbfounded and tried to think of why this kid wanted to fight. This really peculiar looking kid. Anyway, he said he was going to kick my ass and tried to push me a third time so I punched him in the mouth. I wasn’t a tough guy, it was fight or flight. Regardless, I smacked him good on the jaw and for some reason he went berserker.

“You punched me in the mouth! You punched me in the mouth!”

He was holding his jaw and he was really outraged.

“Now I’m going to kick your ass!” he said.

He took a step forward and I punched him the mouth again. This time he was spitting blood and even more outraged than he was the first time.

“You made my lip bleed!”

Up until this time I had said nothing. I was just standing there; I never even raised my hands. This time I turned around and continued walking home. I’d gotten a few steps when I heard him approaching at a trot. I turned as he was poised to hit, and now, infuriated, I punched him three times squarely in the face and he lay there crying.

I walked home without further incident. And sometimes even now, some thirty years later, I wonder just what the hell his problem was.

Man, he was really peculiar looking.

Posted by Paul! | Permalink | TrackBack (0)
Comments

That's an awesome story man, you were like, the Jackie Chan of sixth grade. 'I don't want to hurt you' and then after a bit of a scuffle 'Fine, you asked for it!'. I bet the reason why he was so amazed you punched him in the mouth was the fact most sixth graders aim for the body, stomach, leg those were the days of pseudo bravado and some sort of dreamed up code of honor.

Maybe I'm wrong, or maybe I watched too many westerns at that age.

Posted by: Oorgo at April 19, 2006 01:09 PM

I used to love getting in fights. And I've got some really great stories wins and loses. I kind of wished I'd come up with the idea to use them as writing material. Anyways, it's not very often that you have a really good excuse to deliver a righteous ass-whipping; so those moments should be held close, cherished even.

Posted by: shank at April 19, 2006 02:35 PM

I had a similar incident happen in 3rd grade, and ended up accidentally breaking the girls leg. It was odd cause I didn't even know who she was, really, and now can't even remember her name. How weird is that?

Posted by: Moodie at April 20, 2006 11:34 AM

Sweet short. That could have been a Deep Thought.

Posted by: Jim at April 24, 2006 04:52 AM
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