Snooze Button Dreams
Snooze Button Dreams
Snooze Button Dreams
December 30, 2005
5 Weird habits
(Category: About Jim )

Susie is keen to know 5 weird things about me. Weird? Me? Just how am I supposed to narrow this down to five?! Okay, here goes...

1. I clean the toilet seat before I park my keister on it. Every time. No matter where I am, even my own bathroom that (ostensibly) nobody but me uses. This started as self defense. I live with three boys who have questionable aim and are all vertically challenged. Safety first.

2. When I stir coffee I move my hand instead of my fingers so the spoon stays perfectly vertical.

3. I drink milk with every meal. Okay, not every meal - occassionally it isn't available. But, if it is available, I'm drinking it. Others will complement their prime rib with a fine wine and their wings with a beer. Not me. For me it's milk at every meal.

4. I devour books. I take a book like a Viking raider. Broken spines, folded pages, split sections, cracked bindings...when I'm done with a book it looks like it has aged a decade. This is the main reason I love having my own books. I can't properly read a book that belongs to somebody else because I have to treat it like some virgin wallflower. Feh.

5. ??? You tell me. Points awarded for my best weird habits reported here in the comments. One each for actual ones I've reported to y'all over the years, bonus points for the best previously unknown* weirdities.

* i.e. real ones I never released here or ones that are simply made up.

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Comments

Sucking on giant cow udders, for one.

Posted by: Jennifer at December 30, 2005 08:04 PM

Jen wins!!! That is definitely the weirdest!

Posted by: Susie at December 30, 2005 08:35 PM

Okay, I'll give you the weird for that one. Problem is, it's not habitual. I've only sucked on giant cow teats once. I'm not saying it couldn't grow into a habit if I had easy access to a giant cow (others who've sampled the udder grande can back me up on this), but for the moment at least it's safely in the one-off weirdity category.

Posted by: Jim at December 30, 2005 09:26 PM

Doh! Almost undercut my own game. Clarification: Jen's counts under the "previously unknown" umbrella. And as Susie noted - that's a hard one to beat. ;-)

Posted by: Jim at December 30, 2005 11:30 PM

YOU BREAK THE SPINES OF BOOKS?!?!?!?!

Yes, I did put that all in screaming caps.

This friendship, it's in danger. Books are gentle, loving creatures that should be treated with the same love you give that coffee spoon, bebe.

I will still adore you, but the books? They must be worshipped. They must be handled delicately. Have you seen that ABC special "When Books Fight Back"? No? I rest my case!

Posted by: Helen at December 31, 2005 04:26 AM

I attack books as well... My books are respected, much like my friends and are well-worn and beaten up... much like my friends... :)

Posted by: Wendy at December 31, 2005 12:07 PM

Taking the pants off completely when doing the No. 2. I remember this one well because I thought I was the only other person that did it.

Posted by: diamond dave at December 31, 2005 05:08 PM

- Running points awards over the holidays.
- Allowing Victor and I to hold on to keys for SBD.
- Dressing up in Red Panties and parading around the office.

Posted by: phin at January 1, 2006 02:46 PM

With greatest respect for Helen ( whom I adore, no questions asked) HURRAH for bashing books. Yay for spindling, mucking, bending, and folding. I, too, attack books with the gusto of a toddler with jello. Unless it is a first edition, or something eye-rolling like that. I gobble them up and leaving them, panting and sore, in a pile in a basket waiting to be uh...

....returned to the library.

Yeah, sorry about that.

I'm goona have to out you here, Jim. Having actually broken bread with you, I must put it out there... you drink, uh, other things with meals as well.

:p

Happy 2006, from one of your wildly screaming admiring fans.

Posted by: Elizabeth at January 1, 2006 04:10 PM

I devour books, too. I try to be gentle. . .but somehow, they end up looking like I swallowed them whole. Of course, that's only MY books. I try to keep the library's good favor. Heh.

As for weird habits? Hmm. The only thing I can think of is not a habit but I take great GREAT pleasure in the fact that you coveted my monitor. ;o)

Posted by: Margi at January 2, 2006 04:14 AM

You have sex with your wife on a regular basis. That's weird because you're married and you have three boys, and most normal people would have sex, basically, twice a year by then.

Posted by: Victor at January 2, 2006 04:20 PM

Walking around with your shirt off. Cuz you know..your children had to have learned it from someone. And I certainly hope it isn't your wife.

Posted by: Tiffani at January 3, 2006 10:04 AM
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