Halloween was a blast this year. We made it a three day affair. On Friday we had a party and the kids dressed up in costume and pigged out on hot dogs and candy. Our boys were a trio of deadly pirates. Or maybe they were buccaneers. I never could tell the difference. Either way, they had a blast whacking each other and anything that did or didn't move with their cutlasses. The muskets were a bit of a disappointment, firing their rubber suction cup darts with almost enough force to stick on a glass window provided the barrel was no more than two inches from the target and the target was coated in tree sap. Then again, seeing what they managed to do with plastic swords this may have been a good thing.

After the kids were bounced to bed high on mountains of kiddie crack the grown-ups sat about the smoldering barrel fire (hey, I can't help it that we burned off all of the good wood over the past couple months - the massive log that served as the fire base smoked away slowly for three days) and talked shop. We all came to the conclusion that Tuesday couldn't come fast enough and we'd never seen an election with such incredible acrimony.

Cool spot of the evening - Trey's pumpkins. Holy cow, I've never seen pumpkins carved like that. They were a cow and a cowboy and they were built onto RC trucks so you could drive them around and have the cowboy chase the cow. Interactive pumpkins. Sweet.

Saturday we went to dinner at Trey's and took the kids trick-or-treating in his neighborhood. Secondary outfits were used for this official candy grabbing event. We had a Pikachu, a ninja and a Buzz Lightyear. Shut up, they were incredibly cute.

The jingle has changed a bit since my days of a youth:

Trick-or-treat smell my feet,
give me something good to eat.

If you don't I don't care,
I'll pull down your underwear.

We didn't have that second verse when I was a lad. It must be because we're a kinder, gentler nation now. We never used to give warnings of what we were going to do to the villains that provided improper or insufficient treats.

After trick-or-treating we retired to Trey's house where the kids hopped themselves up on sugary goodness and we grown-ups discussed the not-so-subtle undertones in GQ magazine. The ads (of which the magazine is 80% comprised) basically fall into two categories: flaming and smoldering. What happened to this magazine? I remember years ago you were almost guaranteed to get a couple decent boob shots per issue. Now you get male models in underwear and handcuffs being manhandled (I used that word on purpose - my subtlety is returning in spades) by the po-po. It was like opening up a Playboy and seeing two guys playing wang tag. Well, it differed in degree but the sense of betrayal was the same.

Sunday marked the closing of ceremonies for the holiday, capped off with another round of trick-or-treating in our own neighborhood. The neighbor kids came with us and we had an escort from the neighborhood stray. What a great dog - I'll have to tell you all about him in another post.

Little legs were failing by the time we finished our neighborhood but spirits were still high so we trucked over to the neighborhood behind us. This was a madhouse. Kids all over. Big kids. Kids who should not be trick-or-treating. I think it should be a rule that once you get your driver's license you should not go begging for candy. We saw one high school aged kid with no costume using a backpack for his goody bag just biking from house to house. If I ever get one of those at my place he's getting the hose.

We aborted that neighborhood and finished up with our own next door neighbors. For the third day the kids indulged in sugarfest. The choclavores were relentless in their consumption. After a suitably gluttonous period we removed the stimulants and enjoyed the show. Actual conversation snippet:

Bacon: I'm not hungry! I like chocolate! Hey! I think I'll go climb that tree!

When their buzz wore off sufficiently we packed them into bed. Being the responsible parent that I am, I was concerned about the amount of candy they had been eating over the past couple days. Having only my children's wellbeing in mind I filtered their pumpkins for the most dangerous candy - Snickers bars and M&Ms - and put them in a place where the poor lads wouldn't be tempted by them. Out of sight, out of mind, and in Daddy's desk drawer. Heh.

We then retired to the comfy chairs for a relaxing adult beverage and some blessed solitude. Halloween was over. At least until Tuesday...

I'll get some pictures in here too, as soon as I snag 'em from Lovely Wife's computer. The ones of the kids will need to include a uterine flutter warning - they really are that cute.

EPILOGUE

The kids learned several very important lessons this Halloween:

1) Signs that say "take one" on the abandoned bowl of candy at unattended houses are meant as a suggestion.
2) Sucky candy can be quickly disposed of by either trading it, giving it to the parents as no-cost presents or by licking it once and cleverly discarding it when throwing out the wrapper.
3) Halloween comes once a year but if properly exploited it can keep you in candy all the way to Easter.