I was just a few weeks too late getting back to work. The book says we're short by about one mortgage payment. I contacted the lender and they've extended the pay date to the end of the month, which would help shitloads if there was magic money coming in before that. Drat.

The part that really sucks is that we'd be just fine if I had been able to collect unemployment for the time that I was unemployed. Y'all probably think that this is a reasonable thought. Once upon a time I was as deluded as you are. You see, unemployment is not based on being unemployed. It's based on being unpaid. Since my severance from my former job was parsed out instead of being paid as a lump sum I was disqualified from collecting unemployment for the entire time that I was receiving my severance.

Speaking about unemployment, I have a couple of bones to pick with them. First, what's with all of the jumping through hoops? I PAID for this. I gave many thousands of dollars over the past twenty years so I would have a cushion in case my job situation went bad. When I finally need it I find out that my pillow is one of those display models with a styrofoam core. Mandatory re-education classes? No benefits if I refuse any job? No benefits if I make $350 from any and all sources in any particular week? No benefits if I'm physically unable to work in any particular week? And if I do meet all of the criteria and jump when you tell me to you will reward me with a whopping $300 that I'm supposed to use to feed my family and pay my utilities, car and mortgage with?

Gee, color me unimpressed.

Privatize unemployment insurance. If I'd been paying into even a low-yield bond instead of into the black hole of bureaucratic inefficiency I would have had no problems whatsoever and would still have been problem free for quite a few more months. Unemployment insurance as it stands now is a joke, just another government handout program paid for by the working class but next to useless to the vast majority of people paying for it.

If I had my druthers I'd be sending my unemployment insurance premiums to Monster.com. It was their networking service that got my headhunter into contact with me and yielded a fantastic job.

Fuck unemployment insurance and fuck the Department of Labor.

[/rant]

Anyway (sheepish grin), if anyone would like to hit that button in the sidebar I wouldn't mind. Hell, screw that - you'd have my undying gratitude. I might even send you a picture of my hairy nipples. Or not, depending on your preference and tolerance.

UPDATE:

Wow, I'm a dumbass. I just looked back in the archives and realized I've been seriously remiss in some thank-yous. First off a bunch of folks hit my PayPal button when I first got the pink slip. They all had my personal thanks but they deserve some public love too. Many thanks to Harvey, Ilyka, Susie, Simon and Ed Flinn.

Secondly, thank you to all of you. Every single one of you. All of you who commented, emailed, cheered me on, commiserated with me, helped with my resume and cover letter, helped keep me focused or just helped keep me sane. The amount of support I got from you, my very extended, disparate and somewhat dysfunctional family, was absolutely unbelievable. You helped more than I can adequately relate to you now.

Thirdly, a special thankyou to Dopple-G. Cousin, friend, loanshark, bookmobile. Dopple-G came through when I needed to buy a new suit for the interview that landed this job. He also rocks on general purposes.

Lastly, but most importantly, thank you my Lovely Wife. You never lost faith in me, you supported me when I needed it, you kicked my ass when I needed that and you kept me believing in me. I love you my Sweetie.