The most frequent question we get when people discover that we're homeschooling is "But aren't you worried about your boys' social skills"? You know - how are they going to become socially adept without being in a group of their peers?
No, we're not at all worried about that. Contrary to the ready myths, schools are not about socialization. They are really about institutionalization. Where in the world are you regulated in every aspect of thought and deed the way you are in school? Where else are you restricted to dealing only with people the same age as you are? Where else are you given so little autonomy as in school? Take "school socialization" into the adult world and it's as funny as it is ridiculous. The following examples are from an excellent article by Lisa Russell. I can't find the original but Lovely Wife has a copy:
Your Employer is auditing the Inter-Office Email system and comes across a personal note between you and a coworker. You are required to stand at the podium in the next sales meeting to read it aloud to your coworkers.
The Police knock on your door, and announce that because you and your neighbor have gotten so close, they're separating you. You must move your home and your belongings to the other side of town, and you may only meet at public places on weekends.
You go to the grocery store only to find that since you are 32 years old you must shop at the store for 32 year olds. It's 8 miles away and they don't sell meat because the manager is a vegetarian, but your birthday is coming up and soon you'll be able to shop at the store for 33 yr. olds.
You'd like to learn about Aviation History. You go to the library and check out a book on the subject only to be given a list of "other subjects" that you must read about before you are permitted to check out the aviation book.
You apply for a job only to be told that this job is for 29 year olds. Since you're 32, you'll have to stay with your level.
In a group project, your boss decides to pair you up with the person you don't "click" with. His hope is that you'll learn to get along with each other, regardless of how the project turns out.
How many times when you were in school did you hear a teacher scolding a student for talking with something along the lines of "You're here to learn, not to socialize"? A recent case went to NY State Court because the school won't even let the kids freely socialize during their lunch break. The State's verdict? Kids don't need to socialize in school.
Superior Court Judge Valerie Armstrong said Galloway Township school administrators had the right to impose the restriction to maintain order and safety in a cafeteria that serves 260 students in each of four 30-minute lunch periods.
She rejected Giovanni LoPresti's claim that assigned seating violated Gianna LoPresti's rights under the First Amendment, holding that it was not what the girl said after leaving her seat to talk to friends that mattered, but that she had left her seat in the first place.
"It's unfair," Gianna, who finished seventh grade this year, said after the ruling. "When we talk in class, they say wait until lunch, but then if the person you want to talk to isn't at your table, how are you going to talk to them?"
In other words, students need to sit down and shut up.
So when somebody asks me if I'm worried about my boys' social skills because we're home schooling I say "No, but I sure am worried about your kids'."
I didn't realize you home schooled. Wow. That is quite an undertaking. If anything, I'm even more impressed by you now than I was before.
Don't give him a big head.
I'm not impressed. You're still a pud.
That is utterly rediculous. (not homeschooling)
It depends obviously on the school. My kids go to a catholic school, which is strict in rules. Up until last year the girls were to stay on one side of the playgroound and the boys on the other.
But, my daughter has made some good friends. Friends I'm sure that will stay with her for the rest of her life.
I have one such friend now. We have been friends since 1st grade. Educuation is the fiber but socializing (whether it being at lunch and/or recess) is important too.
I homeschooled my youngest two till we moved here, and the rest were homeschooled for part of their schooling years. Real social skills come from working the world; not sitting in a classroom staring at a teacher.
My fourth child is extremely shy; I think in some ways it was better for her when we homeschooled as she had one good friend and made, slowly, friends in smaller, topic specific classes of her choice.
She is happy in the school here, so she will remeain; but homeschooling gave us something special. I miss those days :-(
I am going to print this entry out, J-Snooze, and show it to everyone who looks at me like I'm an idiot or thinks my best friend is ruining her children when I mention that my goddaughters are homeschooled.
I made friends in school, sure. But my own memories of school are fraught with frustration and dread.
How I would have LOVED to have been taught by someone who recognized that my style of learning wasn't like every other kid and worked with me in that fashion!
I have no plans to have children but if I do, I'm homeschooling without question!
Here's the thing:
Everyon has got to parent his/her kid in the way that A) feels right to the parent and B) is suitable for the kid. My neighbors and other good friends home school. My local library is a homeschooling hub. My park is a regular meeting spot for home school groups. These home school kids? Pretty normal small folks from outward appearances. The ones I knoow well? Very well-adjusted, cool kids. Some kids thrive on public school. Some kids? Get the soul kicked out of them. Good for you, Jim, for doing what is right for your family, and for making the sacrifices neccesary to follow that conviction. Pah on the naysayers, PAH! I say.
Do I count in any way?Since I am doing the most work......OBVIOUSTLY!LOL
I am very lucky because I have neighbors that homeschool.I have many connections and also thinking about the co-op schooling.There are many ways and its wonderful.But I must admit that my kids are smart and thankfully pick up things alot by themself.I refuse to do the "clue to the chair" and pound the books approach.And the kids?They love it.Other then that.......I generally stay away from homeschool groups......bad bad carma I say!
Sad to say, this has happened to me more than once as a grown up. Once at Sprint, once at Birch Telecom and when they tried to make me be friends with an asshat where I currently work, I told them to go jump.
I got a good raise anyway!
Kids need to socialize during lunch break. With no recess time, how can kids develope social skills and grow. Gianna was given three detentions for speaking to her friends during lunch with no disruption. Has the time come when kids are not able to communicate peacefully during lunch? I could see if the school is out of control, but it isn't. The lunchroom policy is extremely harsh.
True kids are in school to learn, but socializing during lunch is not an infraction, let alone a crime. Preventing 7th grade students from socializing is wrong.