My apologies but this is only a 3 beer review. Hens' Night was late starting and the kids kept interrupting so I didn't get into a decent swilling tempo until the last half hour or so.
Hellboy is decent. It could have been much better. It could also have been much worse. Characterizations were pretty poor and they assumed the viewer knew a lot of backstory that wasn't presented. Unfortunately I don't know that backstory so the movie suffered.
That chick that made out with Buffy in that movie a few years ago about rich mean college students was looking pretty good. She kept speaking though and that's really not her forte. They teased hard on the nudity at the end but failed to deliver and that pissed me off a bit (yeah, like she'd really be wearing a tube top in winter in Moscow).
Overall I'd give it a go as a rental. It's a one-timer though, I wouldn't bother watching it again.
I actually enjoyed Hellboy more than Van Helsing, even though Hugh Jackman is HOT with long hair and no knives shooting out of his knuckles...tho' I suspect since Kate Beckinsale wears a lot of bustiers, you might not notice Hugh that much. Anyway, Van Helsing arrived at the theater with "Vatican Detective" written on the cans (in an effort to fool hijackers and pirates I suspect) and I think that's what they really should have called it, since it bears little resemblence to Bram Stoker's characters....
Cruel Intentions is the movie with the mean students. Love that movie.
She kept speaking though and that's really not her forte.
That's what I love about you, Jim--you totally tell it like it is.