This post is: 
Why? Oh, why?
Why is it illegal to shoot these people?
McDonald's hit with lawsuit over fat in french fries
You see back in September 2002 McDonalds announced that it was planning to switch to a healthier fry oil by Feb '03. In Feb '03 they announced that the new oil wasn't happening yet because it made the fries taste like Burger King's as there were concerns over how it made the food taste.
Now a fucknut in California is suing because McDonalds didn't follow their original plan. A corporation in America made a plan, discovered it wasn't workable and changed it. This bitch thinks that entitles her to compensation? What the fucking fuck?
Listen up you fry sucking loser, McDonalds corporation is not personally beholden to you in any way whatsoever. Are you suing Ford because their concept car from 2002 isn't a production model today? Why not? They certainly planned on implementing it but they haven't. That should mean that your rights have somehow been trampled, right?
If you are so concerned about the fat content of McDonalds french fries that you take it as a violation of your personal rights of citizenship then what you need to do is put down the McBurger and McFries, push your fat ass away from the table and walk down to Salads-R-Us. Better yet, buy yourself a fucking pot and cook a meal for your damned self for a change.
And whatever lawyer or group of lawyers is representing this bullshit should die. Literally die you sons of bitches - you are less than worthless, you are an active drain. Your removal would make this country a better place.
(Hat tip to Phillip Coons)
"Literally die you sons of bitches - you are less than worthless, you are an active drain."
-Looks like someone needs a time-out in the happy corner, with a constant movie re-run of "Pollyanna Meets the Care Bears".
Be honest, my dearie Jim-you're just angry you didn't think to sue Coke for inventing New Coke :)
(just teasing...in case you got angry...back away slowly from the keyboard...)
Heck, I could still sue over THAT! Post traumatic stress disorder right here. Plus, I get a tiny tic next to my eye whenever I drive past the Coke factory here. I could probably sue to make them at least move the factory.
It can't be good for you to hold your feelings back like this.
Really, Jim, Jennifer is right. Don't hold back. It's not good for you to keep it all in. You're going to give yourself a ulcer. You have to learn to express your feelings. Emote, young man, emote!
Jim, I mean this in the nicest possible way, ok? I just feel like I have to tell you: there are a lot of decaffeinated brands on the market that taste just as good as the real thing. (Bonus points if you recognize the movie I stole that line from).
As for the fries, I must ask: is your anger motivated by a distaste for the tort system in general or are you, like me, on a low-carb diet and missing ALL OF THOSE WONDERFUL FRENCH FRIES? And, damn it, whoever told McDonald's to stop frying those things in beef fat? The fries have not been the same since.
Dude, that movie was the fabulous and brilliant one with Val Kilmer, in which they popped the enormous Jiffy Pop. Can't remember the film, but I have used that line about one million times in my life.
Creepy that you use it, too.
And the prize goes to Helen for her recollection of the underappreciated film: Real Genius.
I'm feeling much better, y'all. Prozac, it's what's for dinner. ;-)
Dang, I was just about to hit "post" with the Real Genius answer too. My favorite bit from that movie:
Val: So, if there's anything I can do for you, or, more to the point, to you, you just let me know.
Hot chick: Can you hammer a six-inch spike through a board with your penis?
Val: Not at the moment.
Hot chick: A girl's gotta have her standards.
Let's give medical science a quick round of applause!
I love that line from Real Genius. I also like the following question:
"Do you ever have that dream where you're standing on a pyramid, in sun god robes, surrounded by thousands of naked, screaming women, throwing little pickles at you? Why am I the only one who has that dream?"
and
"I am sitting here contemplating the last words of Socrates: 'I drank what?'"
I knew you and Helen were people with taste.
Almost forgot - yeah, I have a dislike of tort law. I know the vast majority of it is not like these bullfull high profile jokes but they sure are tainted by them.
And I luuuuuuurve McD's fries. Fortunately for me I can eat 'em as I'm not dieting or planning on suing anybody. ;-)
I love love love McDonald's fries. I think they're coated in some secret recipe foody crack substance.
Bugger those who file frivilous lawsuits, particularly against things that make me happy. Bugger them with a bushel of stale fries!
Man, I like that word.... bugger bugger bugger.
You want fries with that bugger, ma'm?