The funniest thing I've read in ... hmmm ... it might be the funniest period. I'll have to get back to you on that.

Anyway, Ilyka pointed out this post where Ace of Spades shares his adventures in matching whore levels with the Washingtonienne. Specifically, he needed deviant sex with six people that earns at least $400. This excerpt falls just after Ace laments that he is short of his goal by two partners:

Now, here's the thing about walking your pet in a disreputable part of the park at 4 o'clock in the morning:

You really can get mugged, it turns out.

My two muggers were a pair of skinny Puerto Rican kids who probably weighed about one-hundred-fifty pounds each. They didn't seem to have any weapons, and they didn't even look particularly tough. I think they were just relying on my being scared of them because I was white and they weren't.

Which was, as it turns out, a pretty good plan, because I was fucking terrified of them.

"Hand over the fuckin' wallet, Whiteboy," one of the two boys said.

I began to do so.

But then a thought drifted through my head again: What would Kevin Spacey do?

There were, I realized, precisely two of them.

When opportunity knocks, only a fool bars the door.

"What would Kevin Spacey do?" is my new life motto.