The scene: Dopple-G and I are driving into work in the early morning hours. As it often does, our conversation turns weird.
Dopple-G: If you were a chick, what would you do for a living?
Me: I'd screw.
Dopple-G: You'd be a whore?
Me: No, I'd have a lot of sex and make a lot of money.
Dopple-G: That's called being a whore.
Me: Well I'd be having sex because I want to have a lot of sex. The money is just a bonus.
Dopple-G: If you have sex for money, that's prostitution.
Me: That's what I meant. I wouldn't be having sex for money. I'd be having sex for sex and getting money on top of the bargain.
Dopple-G: If somebody pays you money because you had sex with them you are a whore.
Me: Why? If I go to a used car lot to buy a car and I strike a deal that gives me that car plus free car washes for a year that just means I'm a successful bargainer, right?
Dopple-G: Do I want to know where this is going?
Me: So if I go out to a bar and I strike a deal that gets me laid plus it earns me $50 that's the same thing. It means I'm a capitalist.
Dopple-G: It means you're a man-whore.
Me: So any time money changes hands and sex was a contributor it's prostitution? What if I picked up a chick and the top of her head blew off (figuratively) from repetitive orgasms and she was just so deliriously thankful for my ministrations that she gave me $50? Would I be a whore?
Dopple-G: Well, no. If you had no idea beforehand that there would be a monetary award then you wouldn't be a whore.
Me: And that's different from simply telling a woman "I want to screw your brains out. I can totally and completely blow your mind through my ungodly sexual prowess. $50 and I'm all yours." and then both of us living up to our sides of the bargain?
Dopple-G: So you're saying that if you were a woman you'd make a living turning $50 tricks and you wouldn't be a whore?
Me: Hell no! I'd be charging a whole lot more than that. I'd be banging the rich guys.
Dopple-G: And you wouldn't be a whore?
Me: Nope. Just a businesswoman getting the sex I want and some bonus cash to go along with it.
Dopple-G: Well you would definitely be a slut.
Me: Yeah, I guess I'd be a major slut.
Why isn't this your job now? Do you not enjoy sex? Discount Cialis and Viagra could change your career, dude!
If only I'd known! Back in my prime I didn't fully understand my unbelievable presence and superior bedroom technique. If I knew then what I know now...
::: yawns and files nails :::
Yanno, my Momma told me that talk is cheap. To impress, one must show proof. (I accept .gif, .jpg, .bmp, .avi, and .mov files. Heh.)
Hmm, I can see that one coming back to bite you in the butt in the event of your emminent election.
Emma - You don't trust the word of a burgeoning politician? For shame!
Rob - Are you kidding? It will be perfect. We can get the scandal out of the way before I'm ever in office.
i am only 16 but just because you liek sex and liek banding rich guys for money yes it may make you a whore but who cares i jused tro but not for money but for gifts .. but be careful for desieses, i fell with chlaymdia at 13
Looking for whore to sail the Caribbean Sea for 3 months and make a ton of cash.
I'm your man, mike! Who do I have to screw? Starlets? Models? Wealthy matrons slightly past their prime?