This week's Cheddar is going to be weak. It's a nifty concept, I just suck at it. See, we're supposed to do poems for the answers. The extent of my poetry knowledge is the repertoire of Andrew Dice Clay. Well, let's see what we can do.

1. What is your favorite poem or verse? Why?
There's no earthly way of knowing
Which direction we are going
There's no knowing where we're rowing
Or which way the river's flowing
Is it raining?
Is it snowing?
Is a hurricane a-blowing?
Not a speck of light is showing
So the danger must be growing
Are the fires of hell a-glowing?
Is the grisly reaper mowing?
Yes, the danger must be growing
'Cause the rowers keep on rowing
And they're certainly not showing
Any signs that they are slowing.

That messed up poem that Wonka said
Gave me chills and feelings dread.
When young it made me shake and shiver
Even now it sets me all aquiver.

2. Describe your family.
A Lovely Wife so tall and fair
A rugrat boy that we call Bear
The Burger boy is our third son
And number two we call Bacon

3. What line in a song or poem do people always screw up that drives you nuts?
I must admit,
I am not teasin'
There's no such line
That gets me seethin'

4. Are there poems or songs that you intentionally change the words to?
Yeah there was a special one
Idol's Mony sucked
Billy really should have sung
Y'all get laid get fucked

5. Make up a standard limerick about something funny that happened in the last couple of days.
A beautiful day in Lawrenceville
We took our kite atop the hill
The spool was lost
The kite was tossed
But all was saved by puppies' skill.

(Lovely Wife lost the thread spool and the puppy chased it and held it up long enough for her to grab it again)

6. How about a haiku about your last intense emotional moment?
Quitting smoking now
My blood cries for nicotine
Fury ebbs slowly

7. What's caught your eye in the news lately?
Bush says marriage is for guy and girl.
An amendment for this? I'm gonna hurl.
Kerry keeps talking out both sides of his face.
He'll say anything he thinks will win his race.
The Georgia House's resolution
Makes mockery of our Constitution.
Idiots on global warming last night
This morning Atlanta's covered in white.
Politicians snipe and root like hogs.
Fuck em all, I'll read weblogs.

Bonus: Whoever can figure out what rhymes with orange gets the bonus prize this week!
Whate'er it is you think you hear
With strained and tender youngster's ear
The sound of pogo bouncing high
As playmate comes approaching nigh

To bounce then fall to bounce again
Its springy coil so serves and then
The sound you hear, that "pornge, pornge, pornge"
Still yet not quite doth rhyme with orange

Points?: None this time around. Sorry folks, I almost had an aneurism just writing a half dozen verses. Imagine what might have happened if I had to put devious thought into one! I'll make it up to you later.