I was cleaning up some old emails this morning when I ran across a gem of a conversation between Ilyka and myself. It was from the time when she was hosting the Bestofme Symphony and suffering the deluge of spam that goes with temporary stewardship of the public submission address. As this email was right next to one from Nguzo Makagbo I took it as a sign that this must be shared with the world at large.

Ilyka: I've received one other submission, so the forward's working okay.

Oh, and spam. Definitely have received some spam. Want to go into business with a Ghana national who only needs your bank account # in which to transfer the secret-secret proceeds from his father's failed kingdom?

Jim: Sorry about the spam. One of the drawbacks of a publicly posted email address. At least you can be comforted that the spam stream will be flooding someone else next week.

PS - Never reply to the emails from Ghana, they're all a bunch of thugs and liars. The Nigerian classic is the way to go.

Ilyka: I don't know why you have to be hatin' on Ghana like that. They didn't invent the spam; they just perfected it! And Mr. Nagodobo assured me that he is a well-bred gentleman of royal descent. He gave me his WORD.

Jim: Mr. Nagodobo? I don't know if I'd trust him. I had a message from Doctor Ndroge's widow and she told me all about how her good husband the doctor had loyally served the insurgent government while acquiring a fortune of several million US dollars only to be slain in a royalist uprising. She had to be telling the truth BECAUSE IT WAS ALL CAPITALIZED. The poor thing needs my help badly as both the good doctor's former employers as well as the royalists want her inheritance.

Beware Nagodobo. He's probably just using you to find Ndroge's hidden funds.

Ilyka: Oh--you know I can't top "She had to be telling the truth BECAUSE IT WAS ALL CAPITALIZED." I'm out.

Jim: Sorry I had to GO CAPS on you, but you know what they say - a weapon unused is a useless weapon.

The morals of the story? Stick to the Nigerian scam - the original and still world leader in online scams.

And don't mess around with Jim. ;)