The Dirty Dozen list is out from The Lion & Lamb Project. These are the 12 toys that should be most avoided due to violent content. The list is predicated on the understanding that young children lack an ability to distinguish between reality and fantasy so they must be insulated from all conflict and violence. They go way too far but I can at least understand the objective here. There are a lot of violent toys targetted to kids and they are trying to raise awareness of that. The thing that groups like this continue to overlook with things like this blanket ban recommendation is that not all kids are the same and it is the responsibility of the parent/guardian to guide the individual child according to that child's development and mentality. As they consistently miss the point their message is just as consistently corrupted.

The thing that really blows me away with this group is the rationale they give for these specific toys. Let's take a gander at the most egregious ones:

The Army Forward Command Post is pretty self explanatory, right? Well, no. Instead of describing it as an army forward command post they choose to call it a dollhouse and their biggest reason for putting it on the list is apparently a comment they read by an Amazon viewer. Said viewer is quite obviously of the "soldiers are all baby killers" crowd. Sorry, this doesn't fly at all. If you need to reach that far into hyperbole and tin-foil rhetoric to justify a toy being on the list then you need to realize that you have reduced your possible audience from "parents" to "anti-war, anti-government, anti-soldier protesters".

The Star Blaster Set has an extendable sword and voice changer and "does not look realistic" but it is on the list anyway because "it may send a confusing message to kindergarteners: guns are fun to play with". There is nothing confusing in that message. Guns are fun to play with. Cops & robbers, cowboys & indians, soldiers & terrorists, gangstas & hos, whatever the theme is, the one thing we can be sure of is that it's fun. That's why kids have been doing it since the dawn of time. But why, with all of the very realistic looking toy guns being sold, did they decide on one that they themselves say does not look realistic? I can only guess that this particular toy is a good seller and they are targeting it not because it is the worst offender (their stated goal) but because they have a better chance of people hearing about their recommended ban. When you corrupt your own design in order to garner attention it weakens your entire position.

The Galidor “Ooni” character from Lego is along the same lines. "While the Galidor action figures are not nearly as violent as many others, children may still use them for fantasy fighting. With a video game and TV program tied to Galidor, it is clearly more a marketing opportunity for Lego than a toy for children." So this is absolutely not one of the worst toys but it is on the list because Lego makes it. Going for exposure over content is a good way to expose your lack of content.

Grand Theft Auto: Vice City is on the list because Wal-Mart employees suck. No, I'm deadly serious. Here's their reason for putting this adult title on their violent toys list: "Neither the video game nor retail industries enforce the “voluntary” ratings system, which means that teens can easily buy and rent Mature-rated titles. Why is this on the list? Their problem is kids buying the game despite the "M" rating. Do they think that kids are going to use their list for anything except a cheat sheet while writing letters to Santa? No, this is here once again to grab attention. Vice City is a hot franchise right now. The Lions and Lambs are merely trying to latch onto that popularity in order to get noticed.

Alright already! We notice you! Unfortunately the only message we are getting from you is "We'll do whatever it takes to get noticed". If that's not what you're trying to get across to us you may want to take another look at just what you are doing.

(Hat tip to Lovely Wife)