Snooze Button Dreams
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Snooze Button Dreams
July 11, 2008
Farts cause global warming?
(Category: News & Notes )

According to relevant theory they do. They're even strapping plastic bags on cows to catch their farts now.

cow-gas-tank-404_686141c.jpg

I'm not sure if this is for research or an attempt to delay the cataclysm. Either way it's pretty funny and I bet you could get a load of cash for a bag full of cow farts if you put it on eBay.

But let's look at this rationally for just a minute. Cows are being targeted because of the volume of ass gas they produce. Why do they fart so much? Because of their diet. Farts start out as the air you ingest when you eat. You take in a lot more air when you consume foods like greens and leafy vegetables.

So...

If cow farts cause global warming, and;
Vegetables cause cow farts, then;
Veggies cause global warming.

The solution to the global warming problem is very simple. Start feeding cows meat and outlaw vegetarianism*. Vegans should probably be shot on site just on general principle.

Hat tip to Peppers Ghosts.

* Helen would get exempted due to her exceptional hottie factor.

Posted by Jim | Permalink | TrackBack (0)
Comments

At first I was like "What the hell is this? I'm going to have to postpone my Friday Blogging post until the afternoon now. Jesus! Fuckin' with my medium."

And then you ended it by proposing a vegan hunting season; and totally redeemed yourself.

Nice move Jim; nice move.

Posted by: shank at July 11, 2008 10:30 AM

Oh. It posted anyways. I've been getting logged out every time I press the 'Save' button in MT. I usually have to log back in, open the entry, and hit 'Save' again for it to post. Except this time it posted on it's own. Confusing. Sorry for bumping you down Jim.

Glad to see you back though!

Posted by: shank at July 11, 2008 10:31 AM

Dammit Jim! (been a while since I've said that)
Here I am, working on some good juicy vacation posts to satisfy my small starving audience, and you have to come along and steal my traffic! ;)

Oh well, I'll get to those later. Good to hear from you.

Posted by: diamond dave at July 11, 2008 10:39 AM

Shank--use blog2.mu.nu.

Jim--There is a special word in Munuvia reserved for moments like this. And that word is, "YAY!!!!!"

Posted by: Jennifer at July 11, 2008 10:56 AM

Oh, I'm going to be working my exemption, baby. Working it. But I will be enough of an asshole to wave goodbye to the other veggies you feed to the cows.

Also? About bloody time!

Posted by: Helen at July 11, 2008 11:53 AM

Well, I'll be... Hi Jim!

Posted by: caltechgirl at July 16, 2008 08:04 PM

Welcome back, Jim. Hope things are well with you and the boys. :)

Posted by: Moodie at July 17, 2008 07:09 PM
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