I work as an RN in a busy Emergency Room. One night recently I had an odd little man in one of my rooms. He had been retching for the last 2 hours in the waiting room and was continuing his gastric emptying. The catch is this-I walked by when he wasn't aware I was there and I see him with his fingers down his throat making himself puke. I don't know about you all, but I don't particularly care for the bulimia lifestyle-my stomach contents need to stay put.
Shortly after witnessing this, I was called into a trauma and when I returned the man had finally quit with the puking. I went into the room and began to check his vital signs again and get his story. Somewhere in his long story about smoking since he was 9 years old (now in his mid 40's) and his current ailments he shows me a sore on his arm. The conversation, pretty much verbatim was this:
"A dang 'ole spawder bit mee. I jest laynced et wif mah knife to git da poison out. Then ah leet mah dawg lick it."
(trying not to let my disgust and dinner be visible)
"Huh, interesting. Why did you decide to do that?"
"Weel, dawgs mouts is cleener dan humans."
"That may be sir, but all the same, I'd use peroxide next time."
That story nicely encapsulates why I will never work in the health industry.
It also encapsulates why I fear the South in general.
I *have* worked in the health industry (and now am in public education... I swear I must be a glutton for punishment) and this is just the tip of the iceberg of what people will do to "cure" themselves of what ails them.
"uhhhhh, 'scuse me, but will that light bub still work after you gits it out?"
I read about a lightbulb once. How did they get it up there without it breaking? Why did it finally break once it was in there? How long did it take to get the shards out? Wouldn't there be irreparable tissue damage or is the sensitive tissue in your ass not so sensitive? These are a few of the many questions I have about inserting a lightbulb into your rectum. Also, are those new "enviromentally friendly" bulbs better to stick up your ass? Safer? Snugger? Better able to stimulate your prostate for a better orgasm?
The new bulbs are "ribbed for your pleasure".
That said, I find far more satisfaction by raiding the vegetable drawer in the fridge.
Thanks, Keith! I knew you'd come through for us sodomites.
Zucchini or yellow squash?
Acorn Squash. Use lots of Crisco.
And put a corkscrew into it, so you have a handle for pulling it out.