From the Spinster, since no one reads blogs on Friday anyways.

WHAT INSULTING NICKNAMES WERE YOU CALLED IN CHILDHOOD? I've never had a nickname stick; partially because I've got a short first name already. However, at my brother's wedding last year I got one that has stuck ever since.

WHEN YOU CRY, DO YOU LOOK UGLY, OR DOES IT GIVE YOU A BEAUTIFUL SAD GLOW? Oh no. This is one of those female-oriented ones isn't it. Crud...

ARE YOU FORGETTING HOW TO WRITE BECAUSE YOU SPEND SO MUCH TIME ON THE COMPUTER? No, but I wasn't ever good at it in the first place.

DO YOU THINK VEGETARIANS ARE INSANE? (BECAUSE THEY ARE.) No, they're not insane. They're just insufferable pussies. Seriously, you've got to be a grade-A pantywaist or self-hater or something to complain about people eating animals.

DO YOU LIKE KIDS? IF SO, WHY? WHY, IN THE NAME OF GOD? As long as they're not pissing, pooping, barfing, drooling, snotting, crying, or otherwise leaking bodily fluid(s) on me. So yeah, I like them; but I prefer to handle them with one of those loops-on-a-pole that people use to wrangle alligators or rabid dogs.

IF YOU WERE A DOG, WOULD YOU LICK YOURSELF JUST BECAUSE YOU COULD? DON'T TRY TO DENY IT. Probably not. I don't think I could seperate the fact that I was sucking cock from the fact that I was getting my cock sucked.

ARE YOU AS FRIGHTENED OF CLOWNS AS YOU SHOULD BE IF YOU KNOW WHAT'S GOOD FOR YOU? Clowns don't frighten me unless they're done up all scary-like. You know, standing there just staring at you; wearing nothing but their facepaint and a smattering of blood, holding an idling chainsaw that's covered in peices of guts and flesh.

IF YOU COULD BE EITHER VERY BEAUTIFUL OR VERY SMART, WHICH WOULD YOU CHOOSE AND WHY? Actually, I've been blessed with both already. Unfortunately; I'm uncooth, vulgar, and highly uncivilized which pretty much cancels all that out.

HOW MUCH MONEY WOULD YOU REQUIRE TO HAVE INTIMATE RELATIONS WITH MICHAEL MOORE OR ROSIE O'DONNELL (DEPENDING ON YOUR SEXUAL PREFERENCE BUT DOES THAT REALLY MATTER WITH THESE TWO)? Honestly, I'd have sex with Rosie for money; that's a no brainer. I don't know how much, but it wouldn't have to be a whole lot. Probably enough for a mortgage downpayment and her signature on a restraining order.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CUSS WORD? There are so many good ones. I liked rat bastard for a while; but fucktard, cunt, dicksniffer are good too. Sometimes it's all in the context though. I mean, every once in a while you'll hear one that just knocks your socks off; but then it never works again.

IF YOU'RE A MAN, HAVE YOU EVER CAUGHT YOUR JUNK IN YOUR ZIPPER? HOW BAD DID IT HURT? IF YOU'RE A WOMAN, HOW GLAD ARE YOU THAT YOU'RE NOT A MAN? Never caught my junk in my zipper, because I'm not a moron. However, I did have a terribly painful incident with a thicket of thorn bushes while I was mountain biking. It hurt very bad, and for a long time.

DO YOU THINK YOU ARE GOING TO GROW OLD OR DIE TRAGICALLY YOUNG? Depends on what you consider young. I guess I'm older than 'tragically' young as it is. But what if I die at 35 or 55? That's still pretty young. Genetically, I'm pre-disposed to 90+ on one side of the family and probably 65+ on the other. So I don't know.

DESCRIBE YOUR MOST RECENT NIGHTMARE. My nightmare's are usually more conceptual. I'll just be wandering around some ghastly fantasyscape or midly eerie joint, and I'll just feel terrified. Nightmare's are more of a feeling for me than the actual events or places in the dream itself.

DO YOU WISH THAT, INSTEAD OF PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION DEBATES, THEY INSTEAD HAD TO BOX EACH OTHER, BECAUSE THEN THERE'D NEVER EVER BE ANOTHER DEMOCRAT IN THE WHITE HOUSE? I wish that, instead of presidential debates, they had presidential Jeopardy. There'd be relevant categories and everything, and the president who got the most points won the debate.

ABBA: THE BLONDE OR THE BRUNETTE? I don't even know what this question means.

WHAT DISEASE DO YOU MOST FEAR CONTRACTING? They all seem pretty horrible. I think I'd like to lose my marbles one day though. Not really badly, like forgetting who my family is or anything; just turning into a zany old coot who has way too much fun mooning people and stuff.

WHO DO YOU MISS THE LEAST? My neighbor. The first words he spoke to me were last night, and he was bitching and moaning about fireworks. He's probably in his mid to late fifties, trying to be a badass, and he was totally doing the whole "I'm a crochety old bastard, shit, you need to quit making noise, crap, you're scaring my dogs, prick, they're pooping in the bathtub, I have to be at work at 8am...". Seriously, it wasn't even 9pm. I don't miss that old fucker, and I bet he gives away pennies on Halloween.

ON A SCALE OF 1-10, HOW MUCH DO YOU HATE SHOPPING FOR NEW CLOTHES (10 BEING SO MUCH YOU'D RATHER CLEAN THE CAT BOX WITH YOUR BARE HANDS). I don't know, I've only ever been a couple of times. Usually I just hit Rugged Warehouse for some $3 t-shirts and shorts or jeans. When I go for work, it's not really a pain or anything; I just get in and get out.

WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE BEFORE THE LAST TIME YOU THREW UP? The last time I threw up? That was probably a while ago, but it was chicken wings and beer. I think I wrote about it here(http://idscage.mu.nu/archives/130120.php).

IF YOU WERE A DOG, WHICH BREED WOULD YOU BE? Probably a lab; they seem to have the most fun.

FAVORITE BODILY FUNCTION? (COUGH, SNEEZE, BELCH, POOP, FART, YAWN, ETC) Orgasm was a good one, but since it's already taken; I've got to go with sneeze. I'm a great sneezer.

WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU HAD A HUGE FIGHT WITH, WHAT WAS THE FIGHT ABOUT, AND WHO WON? Probably with The Wife. As for who won? I suppose we probably both got a little something out of it, but that doesn't mean it was fun.

AS WE ALL KNOW, PRO FOOTBALL IS THE ONLY SPORT WORTH CARING ABOUT. IN LIGHT OF THAT FACT, WHO IS THE BEST NFL QUARTERBACK OF THE LAST 10 YEARS? BEST RUNNING BACK? BEST WIDE RECEIVER? BEST DEFENSIVE PLAYER? BIGGEST PRIMA DONNA? WHINIEST BITCH? Don't know that much about it really, but it seems to me any of them would qualify as a whiny bitch. Pro athletes usually are.

BALD MEN ARE VERY SEXY. DISCUSS. Whatever. This thing is getting chicky again.

THE INVENTION OF THE PILL IS A GOOD ENOUGH REASON TO BELIEVE IN GOD. DISCUSS. The pill turns women all crazy. The last thing those unbalanced gits need is more hormones. And just for the record, that was another feminine question.

DO YOU HAVE PERFECT VISION? IF SO, RACHEL LUCAS ENVIES YOU WITH THE FIRE OF A THOUSAND GALAXIES. No.

FOOD YOU FIND SO REPUGNANT THAT YOU SIMPLY CANNOT BELIEVE OTHER PEOPLE PUT IT IN THEIR MOUTHS? Liver, asparagus, eggplant, and fast food. All pretty nasty.

WHEN YOU GO TO THE MOVIES AND THE JERK BEHIND YOU KICKS YOUR SEAT CONSTANTLY, DO YOU IGNORE/MOVE OR DO YOU CHALLENGE THEM TO FISTICUFFS? I find movie theaters uncomfortable anyways, so I usually just suffer on the rare occasion that I go. They did open up this cool joint in town that serves food and beverages though, and you sit at a bar or a dinner table. Much more comfortable, the tickets are less than half price, and they serve pitchers of beer.

LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED THAT MADE YOU GET ON YOUR KNEES AFTERWARDS AND BEG GOD TO GIVE YOU THE LAST TWO HOURS OF YOUR LIFE BACK? I usually don't watch a movie all the way through if it sucks. I get up and go do something else.

DO YOU EVER PUT CLOTHES ON YOUR PETS? That's just retarded.

BEER, WINE, OR LIQUOR? Beer!

FALL ASLEEP OR CUDDLE? A little of both.

FAVORITE FOOD THAT YOU KNOW WILL KILL YOU EVENTUALLY BUT YOU DON'T CARE BECAUSE IT IS JUST SO FREAKING DELICIOUS? Pickles, bacon, beer.

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN SO DISGUSTED BY A BOOK'S ENDING THAT YOU VIOLENTLY DESTROYED THE BOOK? No, I read a lot of Stephen King; so I'm pretty desensitized.

DO YOU HAVE P0RN ON YOUR COMPUTER? DON'T LIE. Yes.

TRUE OR FALSE: "REALITY" T.V. IS THE BEST REASON FOR THE REST OF THE WORLD TO HATE AMERICA. It is pretty evil.

FAVORITE DRUNKEN SLATTERN: PARIS, LINDSEY, OR BRITNEY? Slattern, good word. All three of them are equally irritating. A triumverate of everything that's wrong with popular culture.

MOST DESERVING OF CHUCK-NORRIS-STYLE ROUNDHOUSE KICK TO THE THROAT: AL GORE OR JESSE JACKSON? Chuck Norris could get them both with one roundhouse; no need to choose.

WHAT HAPPENED THE FIRST TIME YOU GOT DRUNK? 'FESS UP. Let's see, I don't remember. It was either Rolling Rock or homemade wine, there was definitely some card playing involved, lots of laughing, and maybe some barf.

IF YOU COULD HAVE MAD SKILLZ IN DANCING OR IN SINGING, WHICH WOULD YOU CHOOSE AND WOULD IT BE FOR YOUR OWN PERSONAL SATISFACTION OR TO IMPRESS OTHER PEOPLE AND POSSIBLY GET SOME ACTION? This is another one of those slightly girly questions. I would choose marksmanship.

IF YOU COULD HAVE ONE SUPERPOWER, WHICH WOULD YOU CHOOSE AND WOULD YOU USE IT FOR GOOD OR EVIL? I swear I've answered this before, but it would be to have my own soundtrack. Kind of like having a limitless iPod, but instead of being an iPod it's this kind of omnipresent radio station, and I can change the song whenever I want.

IF YOU NEVER SEE ANOTHER Q&A MEME AGAIN, WILL IT BE TOO SOON? I don't mind these too much. Sometimes they're mundane, but this one was probably a 6.5 or 7 out of 10.