Since the last time I spoke with God, Our Creator, I've gotten tons of email from people wanting The Holy Father to answer their questions. Since I already have a standing appointment, I figured it couldn't hurt.

Please don't be surprised that God would love to answer your questions. The first comes from Jim, of SBD fame:

What are this week's winning lotto numbers?
Jim, if you ask me this question one more time; I'm going to slap the shit out of you. You've been raking in boku bucks from web hits linking to your horrible blog partners for years. You're the blogosphere's answer to a slum lord and then you want to ask me for more money? You're a straight up ho, biatch.

From Greg in Dover:
I think my girlfirend is cheating on me; am I right?
Good news! She's not cheating on you! Which is a miracle considering how much time you spend in front of the mirror whacking it and grunting "That's the last time you cheat on me, bitch!"

And Lastly for today, John in Springfield asks:
How much is too much?
If you've got to ask, you've gone to far.

Oh, and if you're Catholic; I'm totally watching it and your priest knows. As a matter of fact, he kinda looks forward to your confessions. You dirty little boy you.