DATELINE: 3/27/2007 - Dykes Against The War Rally, Berkeley, CA
Part I
As much as it felt like that, it was actually an Indigo Girls concert in Norfolk, VA. I can't begin to describe the freakshow that I witnessed last evening. But before I begin, let me just say that I am not the slightest bit homophobic. Or is it lesbophobic? Whatever it is, I'm not. My sister is gay so I automatically get a pass. Plus, my sister is an acceptable lesbian in that she's attractive and has attractive partners that I would sleep with. That's my litmus test for "acceptable lesbians". If I'd sleep with them, they're okay.
The lesbians last night, I wouldn't even call lesbians. It was a Bull Dyke-fest. Big, fat, tattooed, pierced, scary, smelly Bull Dykes. And they were everywhere. I was the most effeminate person in the hall of 1000 people (shut up). At first, the freak-watching was interesting but then it just became obnoxious. Why do women who hate men go out of their way to look so much like us? If they're not big, scary Bull Dykes, they look just like 14 year old boys. With tattoos and face piercings of course. Everyone had either a stud through their eyebrow or through their lip. At one point, just to fit in, I wanted to rip off my shirt and scream, "Look at these, you freaks! One lousy eyebrow piercing??? I got two friggin' nipples mutilated!!" I didn't of course, because that might've caused the big 'Norfolk Lesbian Nipple Riot of '07'.
To be continued...
Wait.... who's Will?
He's the sphere's preeminent fecal blogger, The King of Suckitude.
Man, I'd love to see your record collection.
Could it be?
If he never posts again, we'll know it's that asshole.
Which asshole is that, Ted?
That's what I get upon my glorious return?
Where's the love, people?
That *is* the love.
Yeah, dude. Just be happy we're not shoving things up your fundamental orifice.
Quite the homecoming, eh?
Yeah, Paul. I'm thrilled. No fucking respect.
Somethings never change.