Well, I'm obviously honored that Time Magazine would name me person of the year. Thank you so much to everyone who's been so supportive over the years.

You know, for a small-town guy like me, whose 'internet content' basically consists of equal parts obscenity, humiliation, and misanthropy; I've got to say I didn't see this coming. Especially when I'm up against competition like Mahmoud Ahmadinejad ; who's had Time Magazine just absolutely coming in their pants the past few months. I mean, how am I supposed to compete with a totalitarian, terror-supporting 'champion-of-the-dispossed' 'global everyman'? That guy's covering just about every voting block. Well, except for chicks and Jews; and let's be honest - they're not allowed to vote anyways, right?

Yeah, I guess this honor makes it a real banner year for the team here at SBD. So on behalf of myself, Jim, Paul, and god knows how many others out there: We're really frickin' honored, Time Magazine. You nutsacks.