Snooze Button Dreams
Snooze Button Dreams
Snooze Button Dreams
November 02, 2006
Watch Your P's and Q's

So I was wading through the detritus at CNN.com and found this snippet. The police chief in this small town was trying to tell his boys in blue that he'd like for them to shape up a little. He even gave a list of practical reasons for a healthy regimen of diet and exercise.

Apparently someone's feelings were hurt. Evidently the term 'jelly belly' hjas some serious cultural connotations, and using such an epithet got the chief booted.

To me it doesn't seem like the guy said anything too pointy; but maybe I'm too insensitive. I could be wrong here, but I see the police force structured in a similar fashion as the military. When the chief says "Gimme twenny!", you do it. You don't start whining about how the chief made you feel insecure about your weight. Mostly because that would make you a big fat pussy.

If you ask me, there must've been some preexisting issues in the department; and the disenfranchised parties saw this as an opportunity to remove an irritant.

~

And then there was this poor bastard at a Planet Fitness gym in another podunk town. His membership was revoked and he was escorted out of the facility. For what? For grunting.

Apparently grunting is overly intimidating and judgemental behavior, even if you are squatting 500lbs. Now, in every gym I've ever been to I've heard grunting; as well as all manner of macho posturing. I never saw it as intimidating though, I mostly found it intensely funny. Trying like hell to stifle my laughter for fear that they would drive me into the ground with their bare fists like some kind of human tent stake.

But seriously, people grunt when they're taking a shit. It seems only reasonable to expect a gym to have a couple grunters inside.

~

Can you believe this kind of shit happens, let alone makes the papers? I can see tomorrow's headline: "Little Johnny escorted to principal's office for throwing dirt on playground."


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Comments

Every ass loves to hear himself bray... Gwenhoivar

Posted by: Gwenhoivar at November 24, 2006 01:37 PM

Feast today and fast tomorrow... Ellis

Posted by: Ellis at November 24, 2006 01:38 PM

Like cures like... Gabriel

Posted by: Gabriel at November 24, 2006 01:39 PM

Even reckoning makes long friends... Jordan

Posted by: Jordan at November 24, 2006 01:39 PM

While the grass grows the horse starves... Polidore

Posted by: Polidore at November 24, 2006 01:44 PM

Measure thrice and cut once... Griffin

Posted by: Griffin at November 24, 2006 01:48 PM

When Queen Anne was alive... Benjamin

Posted by: Benjamin at November 29, 2006 10:39 AM

A fool always rushes to the fore... Cornelius

Posted by: Cornelius at November 29, 2006 10:55 AM

A small leak will sink a great ship... Randolph

Posted by: Randolph at November 29, 2006 10:11 PM

He who is born a fool is never cured... Giles

Posted by: Giles at November 29, 2006 10:17 PM
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