Last week I sat on a plane for five hours contemplating suicide. The only food available was tiny bags of pretzels. There was a baby in front of me crying non-stop. The armrest fight with my neighbor, a phlegmy cougher, was goddamned brutal. Delays kept us sitting on the tarmac for an hour before takeoff and when we arrived there was no gate for us so we sat there like idiots for another thirty minutes. I got to thinking how this could be improved upon and I think some of these ideas have potential:
The first thing they need to do is rip out some of the seats and install a craps table. Maybe a couple of black jack tables as well. Nothing takes the sting out of boredom like casino gambling.
A roast beef carving station.
A bar. Sitting there waiting for a drink while they stop at every seat on the way to pass out tiny cups of soda is more than inconvenient. It’s torture. How about a bar where I can walk up and order a cocktail or knock back a couple of boilermakers?
An adults only section.
All of the above are not only good solutions to the problems that travelers face on a daily basis, but they’re also alternate revenue streams. How hard could it be to make this happen?
Two words:
Hooters Air.
I *love* the idea of an adults only section... nothing would make me happier.
Also, would it hurt to take a couple of seats out and not make us sit on our neighbor? It's one thing if it's a hot chick/guy next to you (spouses included - hehe), but when it's quasimodo and his merry men... wtf??
Don't the airlines understand American culture? We want our space - on the ground or in the skies...