So, I go to the doctor this week for a check up. I't been widely documented that I don't enjoy going to the doctor. It's not a thing I have against doctors per se, it's just a thing I have about the actual visit. Don't enjoy it. Don't give blood either, don't even know my own blood type; definitely don't like needles. Don't like being examined, don't like being scrutinized, don't like being violated by someone who I can't call by their first name. Hey, if you're gonna be piercing my skin or spelunking my orifices with some kind of scary implement, I should be able to call you whatever the fuck I want. Especially since I have to pay your sick ass for the favor.
I haven't been inside a doctor's office in easily four years. And before that I hadn't been in another few years either - and that was only because I had a broken wrist. I'm not kidding. I don't go to the doctor.
The Wife is a nurse, so she's all hell bent on me getting a checkup. Which means bloodwork.
Oh, let it sink in. In my entire life, I've had blood taken from my body maybe twice. I can't remember if they took blood at the MEPS when I was applying for OCS, but I know I had to have bloodwork done when I was about ten years old. Scared the piss out of me. It didn't help that it was at Quantico, and the guy in front of me had just gotten back from some far-flung deployment and was having several vials drawn. I thought I was going to pass out.
I hate going to the doctor. I try not to be mean to the MD, but I can't help coming off just a tad surly. Seriously, I don't care if I get prostate cancer; you're not putting that, there. I'd at least like to be drunk for something like that. I'd just as soon go under anesthetic and have them remove the damn gland than be conscious for what I can only imagine would be the most traumatising event of my sheltered existence.
Don't feel bad, I haven't been inside a doctors office in over ten years. Even if I did go I am not so sure I want to know what they may find.
Here's what my pediatrician does with my 7 year old (and most of his patients) before blood is drawn and shots given. He prescribes a yellow Lanacaine tube containing an anesthetic cream that is applied to the skin 1 hr before shots or blood is drawn, so my son won't feel a thing. In our house it's called the magic cream. It might be available over the counter. If you need the complete name send me an email and I'll forward it to you.
Otherwise, hang in there. You just haven't found a good, patient, gentle & understanding doctor. There are also medical societies for each county where doctors are usually required to submit their credentials to in order to practice medicine.
Since you haven't been in a few years you would be surprised at the differences and improvements the medical profession has made in medical diagnostic procedures and equipment.
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