Last week I told my kid I’d get her a little something because her behavior has been so incredibly exemplary lately. Beyond belief, really. Somehow I’ve produced a smart, sweet, quiet kid that never seems to do anything wrong. Very spooky considering my own childhood.

Anyway, on Saturday we went to get her a little something. I still get excited when toy shopping because I still love toys. I was hoping to steer her towards a Lite Brite or something else I could play with.

The first thing you notice in a toy store these days is the complete and utter lack of toy guns. When I was a kid the toy gun aisle was the biggest in the store. I would hang out in that aisle for an hour before making my choice. These days there is no gun aisle and it breaks my heart. And just for the record, even though I played with toy guns throughout my youth, I have never shot anyone with a real gun. That wasn’t asking for it. But I kid. I’m a kidder.

She ended up with some popular little doll figures. I spent an hour trying to get her to change her mind. I stumbled into one aisle that all kinds of games I remembered from my own childhood.

“Look honey, it’s Don’t Spill the Beans!”

“What’s that?”

“It’s a game I used to play when I was your age.”

“I don’t want that. Can we go home now?”

I really wanted it. Don’t Break the Ice was there too and I really wanted them both. After a fruitless attempt at getting her to switch she finally dragged me away. Later that night I told my old lady the story.

“She wasn’t budging from the doll.” I said.

“Don’t Spill the Beans? No shit? You should have gotten it for us! Man, I could really go for a game of that right now.”

This morning she called me at the office about something.

“Are you going anywhere today?” I asked.

“I have to go to Target.”

“You have to get Don’t Spill the Beans!”

“Good idea!”

Hopefully by the time I get home she’ll have it ready to go. My life is so sad.