Snooze Button Dreams
Snooze Button Dreams
Snooze Button Dreams
April 25, 2006
It’s not bad enough sitting down?
(Category: Cheeses of Nazareth )

As a guy who spends a lot of time on planes I find this especially troubling.

The airlines have come up with a new answer to an old question: How many passengers can be squeezed into economy class?

A lot more, it turns out, especially if an idea still in the early stage should catch on: standing-room-only "seats."

Airbus has been quietly pitching the standing-room-only option to Asian carriers, though none have agreed to it yet. Passengers in the standing section would be propped against a padded backboard, held in place with a harness, according to experts who have seen a proposal.

Air travel is already heinous. The seats are packed together so tightly that I have to bring a bag to put my feet in if I’m not in business class. People are so close together that the air is fucking toxic.

No one obeys the rules, i.e., even with the seatbelt light on, the aisles are crammed with people walking up and down beating the shit out of your elbows if you’re on the aisle, and now this.

Can you imagine standing room only? I don’t know what people are thinking anymore. I dare them. I double dare them.

Posted by Paul! | Permalink | TrackBack (0)
Comments

Who in the hell would pay for something like that? Hey, while you're at it, can you charge me extra for the priveledge of stowing my carry-on in my anal cavity? Good Lord, the first time someone offers me the upgrade to standing room only 'seats', they're going to get one helluva bitch slap.

Posted by: shank at April 25, 2006 07:52 AM

Now that's just the dumbest thing I've heard all day (granted its just 8 in the morning). Just who exactly says yes let me get the standing ticket for Jersey to Houston. Blah...

I can see those idiots standing, envious of those sitting. Just one oppurtunity for them to sit and they'll be holding you up for your seat.

As if we need more problems on an aircraft. Cranky people who had to stand the entire flight.

Posted by: latisha at April 25, 2006 08:22 AM

Simple solution: steerage class.

It worked before.

Posted by: Ted at April 25, 2006 10:15 AM

Better yet, how about comatose class? Drug them comatose before the flight, wheel them in and stack them one on top of each other. Think of the # of people you could fit in then!

Posted by: Oorgo at April 25, 2006 10:23 AM

"Steerage class"

Heh. I don't think they're above calling it that either!

Posted by: Paul at April 25, 2006 11:01 AM

Steerage class - we already have an entire steerage class airline - anyone ever fly southwest? I did once. Never again.

Posted by: Clancy at April 25, 2006 11:58 AM

I mean, it basically come down to the simple decision - who do I want to be trapped with and for how long. If you like large groups of people, screaming toddlers, a somewhat stagnant air supply mingled with the faint odor of poop and that blue liquid they use in airplane lavatories, and you're in a hurry; then fly.
However, if you're willing to trade in a little time for the opportunity to enclose yourself in a smaller space with a smaller number of people, for hours on end, with nothing but an empty gatorade bottle for a bathroom and that one annoying guy in the back seat who won't go to sleep or shut the hell up; then maybe a roadtrip might suit you better.

The way I see it, you're getting fucked either way, it just your kink that decides how.

Posted by: shank at April 25, 2006 12:58 PM

Quite honestly, I am surprised that Southwest hasn't already done this, I mean for God's sakes they will land a plane on it's nose to keep from being friggin' late... it's bad when the passengers clap after a landing... really bad. Southwest will be the first to shove this through, you watch, and then charge double the amount for anyone over 200 lbs cause they are taking up 'two spaces'...

Posted by: Moodie at April 27, 2006 01:36 AM
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