I’m not addicted to computer games but I like them. Strategy games mostly. Well, exclusively. Anyway, having run Rome: Total War and the expansion pack into the ground I needed a new game to help dull my senses from reality.
In what was possibly the stupidest decision I have ever made I purchased The Sims 2. As I mentioned before, I mainly play strategy games and for the most part they involve military planning, so how did I end up with this ridiculous title? I researched the best strategy games and found out this was, like, the most popular game in history or some shit.
So anyway, I’ve had the thing for a week or so and I’ve never hated a game so much in my life. The fucking tedium involved is unbelievable. Tell your sim to go to the bathroom? Tell your sim to go to work? Tell your sim to eat? It’s the worst torture I’ve ever endured. It’s like living my life all over again in a microcosm of mouse clicks.
Can someone please tell me what is fun about this? Day after day in the life of this thing it’s the same shit. Go pee. Now eat cereal. Now got to bed. Jesus Christ, I feel violated by this thing. I feel like I paid $39.99 to be tortured to death by the banality of a fake life even worse than my own. Last night I sat there like an idiot, micromanaging this things bladder, the whole time perplexed by the fact that anyone could finding this fucking horror show enjoyable. Life is horrible. That’s why I’m playing a fucking game! To escape the horrors of peeing and eating and interacting with others. I’ve never been so goddamned depressed in my life, except for the realization that other people actually enjoy doing this. That’s the real kicker. There are millions of people out there who actually embrace this fucking tedium. Jesus Christ, where’s the Tylenol?
I had a roommate that had that game and he really dug it. The weird thing is he was big on strategy games too, so I don't understand why you would hate it and he would love it. He was a dull mofo though. I mean, in the three years I knew him in college, he probably went to a social function maybe twice. In that respect, he was a little weird.
Personally, I wouldn't ever play a game like that unless you could get it on with the female characters. I mean, I would think that would go without saying, but I'm just a horndog I guess.
I had sex within the first hour. After that it was all downhill.
"I had sex within the first hour. After that it was all downhill."
Much like real life.
I played the first Sims a bit, but after I had to help them find the bathroom 50 times or forgot to and they wizzed on the floor because they didn't like my house layout, that was it, I had had it.
I knew a guy who would torture his Sims, build them tiny houses with no doors and like... one room, then watch them slowly go more and more mad.
I got the game for Christmas a couple of years ago, but didn't have a computer in the house new enough to run it. Eventually we upgraded and I loaded it up. Mookie played it more than I, and her high point was forcing two characters into a lesbian relationship (basically by constantly throwing them at each other). I learned that I am not a benevolent God, taking great pleasure in making life a living hell for whatever Sim I was dealing with. Want a kitty? Get a kitty. Oops, dead kitty. Repeat often. Sleep deprivation. Constant fights and harrassment. Wall in the parents while asleep and burn the house down. The goal was to create a serial murderer, but I got bored long before the poor shmuck grew up.
"The goal was to create a seriel murderer..."
Now THAT'S funny.
Paul - I think Ted nailed it. The point of the Sims isn't to take care of the little Sim folk, it's more like a $40 Quizilla Quiz:
"What kind of deity are you?"
You people are sick, but I LOVE that about you... too funny for words... now I may have to buy the game just to try some of this stuff.... damn you!
Ted: If you like that maliciousness, you should try Black & White 1 or 2... you can be a real god and turn your creature into a loving beast or a vengeful bastard that randomly eats or crushes villagers.
Flaming rocks flying through villages is really cool too.
When in doubt, go for the latest Civilization release. Talk about addictive strategy games...
I have not purchased #4 yet because I wish to keep my job and marriage.