You know, every once in a while something comes along that's really irritating. It's so mind-bogglingly vexing, so obviously inane, that it actually causes me physical and mental harm. Some people are so stupid, I'm not sure if we're members of the same species.

For the love of all that is holy, Bill Gates and Microsoft are not giving away their money based on how many people you forward that email to. And so help me Lord Jesus, if you send it to me one more fucking time I promise you it will be the last thing you do. What kind of dumbass believes a situation like that is at all plausible? Be honest, when you look back on it you feel like the world's biggest asshole don't you. Good Christ, you could fuck up a wet dream.

And no, refraining from buying gas for a day will not drive the price of gasoline down. For fuck's sake, we're talking about global companies that clear world record profits that are the largest in the history of man; and you're sending me an email telling me we can topple the whole fucking thing by not buying gas for a day? Are you fucking slow? Seriously, most people buy gas once or twice a week anyways. What do you think they do on the other five or six days of the week? Sit around saving their pennies and waiting for you? Not to mention the people that have to buy gas each day. You know, like truckers, airlines, and the driver of that short bus you ride to school. You're such an imbecile. I pray to God that your condition is curable, because if it isn't we're going to have to kill you just so we can stay alive. That's how big of a dumbass you are.

And yes, I got that second email about not buying gasoline from Mobil or Exxon in an effort to force them to drop their prices. I know, 'But? But?' You're a fucking moron. It's called aggregate demand; and no matter who you buy your gasoline from, they all get theirs from the same fucking place. So it doesn't matter where you buy it at (you pathetic numbnut), because the total demand stays what? Stays the same. So if you send me that email again, I'll end you. By the power vested in me by the rest of conscious humanity, I will shuffle you loose your mortal coil. You are dumber than a box of hammers.

I mean, how can someone be a participating member of this great Information Age, and retain none of it? How can you spend so much time on the Internet, sending me these fucking tired, useless, obviously horseshit emails; and never for a moment (that's all it would take, I promise) consider how assinine they are? The irony is so great, that it causes an atomic explosion inside my brain. You're so stupid my skull is imploding.