I suppose I'd rather write this than speak it, because I'm not sure if I have it in me to do so. I guess I'm not exactly the great communicator. Not like that's a secret to anyone though. HA!

You guys are awesome; and it feels so good to sit here with my new wife and have a model to look at that works. Yeah, it ain't all peaches and cream; but then again, nothing ever really is. The fact of the matter is that I can sit here, after all the years of being disciplined when I thought you were being too strict, and being told I was wrong when I SWORE up and down I KNEW what was best for me; and realize that it was all love. I have no regrets about any of that except that I was too snotty for my own good. But in the end, most of all, I feel that I'm lucky to have the family support that I do. You know we all think that don't you? I'll bet you fifty bucks per child that if you ask them "Do you understand it all know? How much we cared? How we luv ya so much?" That the answer would be a resounding 'YES!' Did you know that you've got children who are ready defend their parents and siblings tooth and nail? We do. Ask me next time I see you and I'll tell you some stories.

For me, being someone who's yet to live their life even HALFway through, it's all boiling down here. And I'm not saying that to be a melodramatic wimp, god knows I inherited my distaste for that kind of crud from my father and grandfather. I'm saying that becuase it's all come into sharp relief - this whole thing about what your life is really like, and the things that really matter, and what's really important.

And now I'll get callous. I'm not worried about Mom. Whatever happens to her with this whole cancer thing, I mean, who cares? As an introverted mind, but a mind ruled by creativity, I stay up thinking about what we'll do in that worst-case scenario; when Mom's moved on to that great retirement villa in the sky. You know, the one where happy hour goes from noon 'til 3am, the clothing is optional, and Jimmy Buffet plays live 24/7. The things I worry about are much MUCH more self-centerd than that. I worry about ME. HA! I worry about my family members. What about the old man? I mean, I can mow the lawn, and help him dig giant muddy holes around the sprinklers. Dude, getting dirty is my specialty. But when he wants to eat and all I've got to offer is a really good recipe for nachos and beer, he's probably not going to be too excited. Or what if his shirts need ironing? Man, I haven't ironed a peice of clothing I own in YEARS. I mean, mom had to show me when I was living with you guys, and I don't have the stones to ask Jenna to do my ironing for me. Dude, I was set free by wrinkle-proof clothing years ago! Buddy, you better find a full-service dry cleaner!

And me! HA! Remember when mom would go away for drills, and I'd be practicing my trumpet - the song 'Over the Rainbow' - and I'd start crying? And when I was in boy scouts and couldn't even spend the night away from you guys? how the hell did I manage Eagle? Oh, yeah - I guess I OWE THAT TO YOU GUYS! Ha. Hell, when I finally decided to get my own life and a 'real' job I came back to you guys. And that's what I worry about, because I'm a selfish middle child: What am I going to do without my mommy and daddy? Honestly, I was hoping to have a little more time to answer that question. You know, be so busy with our own youngins that it would all dovetail. But no, Mom's in an all-fired hurry to be the first one to cross the finish line. *WHICH* is good for us, because we all know it's all about who you know. And I figure if anyone could use an inside man it'd be me. So when you guys get there, do me a favor and save me a sunny seat in heaven or a shady one in hell, eh? And if they let you take vacations, I'd really appreciate you dropping in every now and then. And you don't have to rattle the chains in the attic, feel free to swing by and really spook the crap out of us. God knows, we might need it. I mean, I know when I pass on I plan on spending a good deal of time messing with all the people I know that'r still alive. That's the whole fun in being dead right!?

Really though. You guys are the greatest; and if you're not around when I (finally) have kids, I'm going to tell them all sorts of stories that aren't true that make me look like a saint. Somebody's got to be there to set them straight.