With the doubling in size of our company comes a corresponding increase in the workload for those of us in the Project Management and Quality Assurance department. Fortunately we are taking measures to grow our department to meet the needs. Unfortunately that means I'm back in the interviewer seat for a large chunk of my exceptionally scarce time. As a public service to job seekers and an attempt to make my life easier, I present Jim's Rules of the Interview:

First, the resume:

1. Proof your resume. Proof it again. Hand it to your spouse / significant other / mom / nearby hobo (hobos will work for beer so it's very cheap) and have them proof it. There should be exactly zero spelling errors on your resume. When you are applying for a position with heavy documentation duties there is even less tolerance than that.

2. Don't mix cases. "Proofed corporate news documentation and implemented a redaction policy" is good. "Performed systems evaluation tests and modifying active test plans" is bad.

3. I have a limited time slot to conduct the actual interview. There are questions I have to ask and questions that I want to ask. The ones I have to ask are the same as the ones every other interviewer has to ask. Answer those on the resume. Tell me why you left IBM. Tell me why you want to leave Sprint. Pull your major accomplishments and essential qualifications out and put them right at the start of your resume. Put a one-line description of what the companies you worked at actually do. Nobody except you and the other four people who work there know what "Synergy Systems, LLC" is or does.

4. DO NOT BLOAT YOUR RESUME. If the model number of a computer is anywhere on your resume it should say "Performed shell architecture coding and initial unit testing on" just before it. Same thing with Windows operating system and Microsoft Word. If you dare specify that you know how to use Notepad (yes, really happened) your resume goes to meet the shredding teeth of doom. Items that are mandatory assumptions for a position do not belong on a resume. In IT jobs this includes knowing how to use a computer.

5. Look at what the recruiter, headhunter or agency did to your resume before you let them send it out. They generally just copy from your document and paste it into their template. This will almost always screw up your layout and pagination.

6. Know the difference between "contract to hire", "contract" and "direct hire". Understand where you fit in these categories. See below.

7. I read the resume. All of it. If you lied I will nail you. See below.

Nextly, the interview:

1. Don't wear ho boots or a slinky camisole. Even when paired with a suit jacket this doesn't send the message that you are a competent professional. This goes double for the guys.

2. Remember those categories of people I'm looking for? It's #6 above. Tailor your answers appropriately. If it's a contract position I am primarily concerned with your ability to do the specific thing you are being contracted for. If you are a candidate for permanent hire I am more concerned with your overall personality, intelligence and work ethic paired with the basic skills needed for the position. For permanent hires I'm also interested in skills outside the job description - for contractors I really don't care.

3. I'm going to base the interview around your resume (#7 from the first section). I will take parts of it that interest me and drill into them. That Atlanta QA group that you joined last week so you could put it on your resume? When I ask you how often they meet and the sort of things they meet about and you sit there looking stunned it says pretty clearly that you are full of shit.

4. There are a lot of interviewer styles. Some people are truly assholes when they sit in the interviewer chair. If you get one of these, leave. On the other hand there are people like me. I'm a sweetheart. Relax. It's really not that bad. The absolute worst thing that can happen is I don't give you the job. You didn't have the job before so even in the worst case scenario you haven't lost anything. It's also MUCH easier to interview you if you are comfortable. If I need to spend 10 minutes chatting to get you into the mood that's 10 minutes where I might not get to those all important "questions I want to ask".

5. The relaxed and confident manner is important for another reason. It's a job requirement. If you can't be relaxed and confident with me (sweetheart that I am) how are you going to handle developers who won't submit documentation or a PM pressuring you to clear their application because their project plan is compromised?

6. The first part of the interview will be me wanting to hear your life story, work-wise. What led you to QA? Why do you like it? Any major successes or defeats? What did you learn from it? Where are you going with it?

7. The second part of the interview is me describing the situation you'll be coming into. LISTEN TO ME! When I tell you that we are at an effective zero state for quality assurance I'm doing it for you. This lets you answer subsequent questions in that scenario - the actual scenario that you will be working in. When I then ask you what you could do to improve our situation and you reply that you could help us set up automated testing systems I know that you are either clueless or inattentive. Neither one of those go into the plus column.

8. The third part of the interview is me asking the probing questions. I already noted this in #3 but it should have been at this point in the list. Since I'm too lazy to cut and paste that and then renumber everything you get this generally worthless item as a placeholder.

9. The last part of the interview seems like it's all about you. It's me asking if you have any questions about the company, the position, where we're moving as a corporation, etc. It's not about you. It's really about me. If you have absolutely no questions about anything having to do with the job, company or department I will think you are not taking the job seriously. I will be unlikely to take you seriously.

10. I gave you my business card when the interview started. Use it. Send me an email thanking me for my time, saying how much you enjoyed speaking with me and expressing your hope that we will soon be working together. I'm not looking for strokes here, I'm looking for professionalism.

And that's pretty much it. Follow these simple rules and (providing you have the qualifications) you'll likely find yourself in a new job. Like the new QA Lead who's starting next week.