Snooze Button Dreams
Snooze Button Dreams
Snooze Button Dreams
January 09, 2006
The Great Snooze Points™ Controversy of '05
(Category: Weblog Stuff )

A problem has been pointed out in the season finale post. Victor is in there twice. Once is way up at the top and the other is way down there at the bottom. If the two scores are combined it brings Victor up from 4th place into a tie for second place. What's up with this? Several theories abound:

  1. The Snooze Points™ database was hopelessly corrupted during a system crash caused by the world renown chess battle between the Munuviana servers and Big Blue.
  2. Commies, Islamic fundamentalists and/or PETA hacked the list and added another entry for Victor near the bottom (where it wouldn't be noticed for several days after posting) to sow discord in the hopes they can use this confusion to their unholy advantage.
  3. At some time during the year Jim screwed up the list. When he put in a new score for Victor he failed to combine it with Victor's existing points, creating instead a second entry.
  4. At some time during the year Jim screwed up the list. When he put in a new score for Victor he added the new tally but failed to remove the original score, thereby creating instead a second entry.

An in depth investigation shows that the world renown chess battle between the Munuviana servers and Big Blue never happened. Big Blue chickened out. Additionally it was found that neither commies, Islamic fundamentalists nor PETA have the mad hak3r skillz required to pierce Snoozecurity. We are left with only two viable theories and no way to determine which one is correct. Victor should be in either 2nd place or 4th place for the 2005 season and we have no deductive method of figuring out which.

So we'll vote on it! Yeah, voting. Nothing pisses off Commies, Islamic fundamentalists and PETArists like good old fashioned democracy. Cast your vote for one of the following:

A) Victor ties for 2nd place. Phin is cast off the legacy board among jeers and cheers. Phin vows revenge upon all things Pointy in general and Victor in particular.

B) Victor ties for 2nd place. Phin stays on the legacy board which is increased to four spots this year in a sop to Phin.

C) Victor stays in 4th place. Victor vows revenge upon all things Pointy in general and every person who voted for this option in particular.

D) Victor stays in 4th place. Victor joins the legacy board which is increased to four spots this year in a sop to Victor.

Lacking an armed secret police force to drag citizens to the polls we'll bribe folks instead. One point for each civic minded voter. Chicago residents, per tradition, may vote multiple times*.

* Though only one will count. Hah!

Posted by Jim | Permalink | TrackBack (0)
Comments

I say we drop both phin and Victor from the list entirely. Then they can both take revenge on all things Pointy, eachother, and the rest of us. All hail, DISCORD!

Just kidding. Option B sounds best.

Posted by: shank at January 9, 2006 08:26 AM

Option E--the person who pointed out the discrepancy is not allowed to participate in points posts for a period of one month, and must later report back on the actual life they have pursued instead of points during that time.

Unless it was Victor, in which case Option D.

Posted by: Jennifer at January 9, 2006 08:32 AM

I went to the actual post and saw what you're talking about (which this early in the morning I didn't understand by your description)...so I change to option B. (If E fails to be acceptable)

Posted by: Jennifer at January 9, 2006 08:37 AM

As a link whore I prefer Option B, although I'm not quite sure I can stand an entire year of Victor being on top of me.

Hopefully he'll be gentile.

Of course I kind of like Option A as I haven't ever been amongst cheers and jeers, normally folks just point and laugh.

Posted by: phin at January 9, 2006 09:25 AM

Option E is certainly the best, though I'm sure Jim's too fair to go that route. God help the people if Jim ever expires (heaven forbid) because Shank and I would be the most corrupt people ever to be in charge of points of any kind, anywhere. Those things would change value like Cambodian currency.

I'm working on point quest adventure that's something like a scavenger hunt but with pitfalls . The points will be exponential to the difficulty of the tasks. A weekly thing.

Failure will result in a "Let's Make a Deal" process.

Meanwhile, let Willard have his fucking option b and let's be done with this thing before Jesse Jackson gets involved. I hope this is the last time Jim attempts democracy of any kind. We must mete out justice.

Now I really hate rats.

Posted by: Paul at January 9, 2006 09:32 AM

I vote for B. Give the guy credit. When Jim went missing for awhile there it was Victor who picked up the pase with guest blogging. That's gotta count for something.

Oh and Phin...I don't think he'll be on top of you. He'll be next to you spooning you.

Posted by: Tiffani at January 9, 2006 09:39 AM

As an example of Paul's corruption theory, were we in charge, I would award him 25 Snoozepoints for his simple yet colorful use of the "Cambodian currency" simile.

Posted by: shank at January 9, 2006 09:47 AM

Man, I knew this would throw things into a tizzy. A tizzy, I say!

I vote for B. Phin is too good a guy to go off the board.

Paul, my rats hate you too. I'll send them over to your house to nibble on your toes.

Posted by: Victor at January 9, 2006 10:10 AM

I go with whoever bribes you the most. Dollars or candy, whichever works for you, Jim. Let 'em fight it out the old fashioned way, with their check books!

Posted by: RP at January 9, 2006 11:26 AM

I say option B...

And watch out for rats... there was an article about a mouse that took revenge on a guy that tried to kill him in a fire... ended up burning his house down.

Posted by: Wendy at January 9, 2006 12:20 PM

They're goddamned evil creatures!

Posted by: Paul at January 9, 2006 12:28 PM

I vote for D. He was on the list twice for ages. He should have spotted it ages ago! He can go on the list, but he ain't having my place!

Posted by: Dafyd at January 9, 2006 02:38 PM

Dafyd, I spotted it ages ago! If I had pointed it out ages ago we wouldn't be having all this fun! FunfunFUN!

And it's a good thing Jim took down the original standings list, because there was someone else on there twice, too.

Posted by: Victor at January 9, 2006 02:46 PM

I copied and pasted the list. I'm lazy like that.

Posted by: Jim at January 9, 2006 04:00 PM
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