Hey, so Dave wants me to put up a "sham or share". Here we go:

My Mom, after having one lobe of her liver flooded with what basically amounts to 10w30 and Drano; gets the orders from her doctor to under go twenty five days of radiation therapy. I'll spare you the details, but at least her hair won't fall out. 'Course, she'll spew like an active volcano, her skin will fall off, and her toes will curl up and grow out of her wrists from which point they will try to claw out her eyeballs; but at least the process will clear up her bile ducts. YAY! The best part is that when that's all through, she gets to have the other lobe of her liver drowned in Comet and Clorox. Then we get to find out how the treatments working.

spoiler below:

Furthermore:
Yes - I know I'm a depressing sonofabitch. What do you want? A fucking knock knock joke? I wish I could be what I used to be; but right now I'd pay fifty bucks to club a baby seal and eat its heart while it was still beating. I'm a bitter, angry, horrible sonofabitch most of the time these days. I know one day it will pass, but right now, I refuse to deny myself the priviledge of true, visceral emotion. It's ugly, it smells, and it should come with a disclaimer.

One day everything will normalize. Maybe it will be tomorrow, maybe it will be next year. But this is how I feel now; and this is what I want to remember about this point in time.