I'm guessing the one on the right.

I think you posted a photo back in the day with a pic of you kinda visible. Is that you on the left?

I'm guessing the guy in the middle. You just don't seem faggy enough to drink beer through a straw.

But Jim, The beer is in a football shaped container. Thats screams manly! Maybe you should make a contest out of this Shank. I'm guessing it's you on the right.

It's like this:
For like two-fifty you could get 80-someodd ounces of beer. The catch? You could only buy it in this super-gay football thing; of which the only way to extract said brewed goodness was through super-gay straw. So, casting aside our insecurities for a chance to imbibe mass quantities at minimal prices, the three of us accepted the terms.

Please God, don't let it be the guy in the middle....

I want to say you're the guy in the middle but then again, I'm thinking you're the guy on the left.
Ok....my final answer is....

The guy on the right.

I'm wondering if I should just leave you guys hangin'. You know, maintain some mystery.

Hey Paul - what's wrong with the guy in the middle anyways?

Way too happy.

It's almost as if he's getting a BJ. And he's not drinking. And he looks like a Norwegian exchange student. A very happy Norwegian exchange student.

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

I don't envision you as a big-smiley type guy. I also envision you drinking. I don't like to be wrong.

Well, the dude in the middle is my best man. So there, I narrowed it down for ya'll. Two left.

I knew you'd be drinking and somewhat sour.

The left!

Sour?

I believe the words your looking for are 'smoldering and ruggedly handsome'.

I'm constantly being told I look like a sour son-of-a-bitch. I relish it.

I still say the right. If you are the guy on the left, I'll regret mostly ignoring you for the last year or whatever it's been.

gotta be the guy on the left since you said you're one of those tall guys with a tiny car, and the guy on the right looks like the shortest one there.

well, crap

So I guess I was the first to guess correctly? Do I win something?

I have a photomagraphical memory from your old blog and I say it's the guy on the left.

Oh, nay, I KNOW it's the guy on the left.

bwa ha

ha

Ok, I'm going to bed now.

Looks to me like the top of the gay football is removable after which a manly type could drink his beer in the normal style. Of course you do lose some flexibility with the manly drinking method - if the top and the straw are discarded you have to look elsewhere for a butt plug and tampon insertion utensil. I myself would be willing to part with such things.

Definitely left. At least the expression says "I'm drinking like a pussy, but at least I'm drinking".

The middle dude's beer is somewhere. And he is smiley, but only because he's about to go buy some fried oreos and more alcohol. God, that was a sweet night.

All three are good looking, and that's good enough for me.
Although the guy on the right with the John Deere hat is by far the best looking.
And the guy in the middle does look like a very happy Norwegian exchange student.
And the guy on the left looks a helluva lot like my ex-fiance.

I don't really know if I'm allowed to say this, because I'm related to them all, but it's a PSA: the kid of the right... so not good in real life. Just remember: hats can be deceiving.

Thanks for the warning.