So the runaway bride was on the Today show this morning. My girlfriend puts it on while we get ready for work in the morning. Anyways, the runaway girl is talking about why she made up all this stuff about being kidnapped by Mexicans. Her pathetic, ill thought out, sham of an excuse was something about how she only had Friday off, and that wasn't nearly enough time to get a manicure, a pedicure, pack for her honeymoon and be one time to her perfect wedding. I swear to you, that was the literal translation.

What the fuck is with that? If I have problems like that one day, I'll be glad. But seeing how that'll probably never happen, I'll just cut to the chase and go fuck myself.