What do nudists do about butt sweat?
I'm not talking about olestra-esque anal seepage or other such nastiness. I'm talking about standard everyday butt sweat. The juicy crack syndrome that occurs on hot days or during intense bouts of physical exercise. Butt sweat hits everybody, old and young, man or woman*. Nudists certainly aren't immune.
For us regular clothes wearing types it can be taken care of with a strategic self administered semi-wedgie. Care being taken, of course, to avoid excessive depth and the track marks that could thereby result. A surreptitious crack swipe followed by a demure cheek shake to release the cotton is all that we norms require. What are the nudists doing?
When it comes down to it they must either embrace the butt sweat or use an alternate means of dealing with it. I can't imagine the first. I mean really - if you ignore the dewy gorge long enough the misting will eventually become genuine precipitation. I can't imagine anybody who could long tolerate butt sweat trickling into their coochie or dripping off their sack of balls like some twisted Japanese water torture. For nudists this would be even worse. Every time they sat down they'd leave a Rorschach test.
So if we eliminate the first option, the second must be true. Nudists are handling the butt sweat with some sort of wedgie alternative**. Do they have towels lying around with needlepoint messages like "Butt Sweat Only" and "If You Only Knew Where I've Been"? Do they make constant trips to the loo? Perhaps they carry around a personal nappy for just this occurrence?
It's mysteries like this that will forever keep nudists as strange and exotic creatures to mundanes like me.
* Don't try to deny it, ladies. If women didn't have butt sweat used panties wouldn't sell for $50 on eBay.
** "Alternative Wedgie" would be an excellent name for a rock band.
Oddly enough, I actually visited a clothing-optional campground once and I did not see anyone administering to their butt sweat.
Perhaps clothing actually creates an ultra-humid environment which exacerbates the butt sweat problem, which does not arise in ordinary circumstances.
Of course, I didn't see anyone engaged in strenuous activity at the clothing-optional camp grounds either.
Personally, I think running, weight-training, and pretty much all manner of strenuous exercise should be avoided when nude. If butt sweat is all that happens to you when you do go about these activities in the buff, then I think you got off lucky.
Testicular torsion is no laughing manner and Seinfeld taught us that naked squatting is horrifying and laughable at best.
I believe you should go to a nudist camp and check it out. Then report back here on the results.
My breakfast just came back up.....
I'm appalled, yet curious all at the same time.
Jimmy you may have actually discovered the reason some women perfer to wear thongs.
I'll never think of removing thonged panteloons with my teeth a sanitary activity ever again...
Yet, it also explains why crack sweat isn't a common plague in gentlemen’s establishments.
I've never thought about it before... and I don't want to ever think about it again.
Because I'm still a little haunted by this I really need to highlight one particularly colorful phrase in this post:
"olestra-esque anal seepage"
If there's anything that I want to avoid in life...
I'm kind of with Phin on this one, appalled and intrigued.
Dude, noodists don't sweat. You ever seen a full-on nudist with Grecian proportions? Me neither. Matter of fact, the proportion tends to trend significantly towards the Polynesian. It's because they never do anything strenuous that would result in sweat. You can't blame them though. Swinging your wedding tackle around a weight room with all those heavy weights, ropes, spring loaded machines and shit. Ain't no way baby, not without something to cradle the twig and giggleberries.
Nice to have you back, Jim. My weight has been ballooning lately, and I need back an incentive to diet. Your posts work quite nicely.
Nice to see you back Jim, in all your grotesquity (is that a word? Oh well).
I think the moisture generated from the rubbing of the cheeks would quickly evaporate in the wind. Perhaps the seawater would also flush it or rinse the orifices sufficiently so you wouldn't have trickles running into the sand.
I was taken to a nudist place once but only on the condition that I could be under the influence of alcohol or any available drug.
Im sad to say I don't remember much except for watching my boyfriend at the time enjoy himself playing volleyball whilst I sat suitably arranged on a picnic table with the spouse of another volleyball enthusiast !
My personal belief is that they wipe their asses on grass, against trees, on anything in nature.
You disappear for weeks and then you come back to post about butt sweat???
Well done, my friend. Well done.
Oorgo's pretty much got it - evaporation.
There are certain things I've never thought about.
There are other things I'm going to try and forget about; this being one of them.