Snooze Button Dreams
Snooze Button Dreams
Snooze Button Dreams
August 23, 2005
All right, we'll call it a draw
(Category: True Stories )

Three weeks of the most intense development imaginable. Two separate groups of subject matter experts flown in. Two UI developers, 2 DBAs and 4 contractors working hell shifts and weekends for 10 days. Three completely new component systems learned and implemented. Four new technologies developed. A last minute 100% setback. A brief reprieve. And then...

The demo was a smashing success.

The top 20 officers in the company saw just what our developers can do when given their heads and qualified direction. There was oohing and aahing. There were exclamations at the speed of our product (504 page reports off a 17 million record set live database in under 4 seconds).

They did not approve our proof of concept for development. Although we met every reporting requirement we were tasked with we failed to meet the invisible requirements of matching the back-office capability of the very expensive preferred vendor. That capability took a score of hungry Romanians two years to develop so there's no way we could do it inside the 6 month implementation deadline. 7 months, maybe - they're only Romanians after all.

But all is not lost. Enterprise Development got to show off big time for the biggest brass in the company. Many of the tech advances and components from the proof of concept will get used in other applications. Our street cred is huge now. Our collective ballsacks are silky smooth and engorged with massive testosterone loads ready to fire at the slightest provocation.

We kicked serious ass.

Posted by Jim | Permalink | TrackBack (0)
Comments

Congratulations! It's always great when one kicks ass!

On another note: I thought the official SBD phrase for "ballsack" was "sack of balls." And are they shaved, or furry? Any of 'em blue?

Jim, it's the details that make the story interesting.

Posted by: Victor at August 23, 2005 08:45 AM

Aah those invisble Romanian vendors ... you've got to love them.

Still, congrats for a succesful project and well done getting top brass to engorge your collective ballsack ...

Posted by: Rob at August 23, 2005 08:55 AM

Victor - I'm all about the variety.

Thanks, Rob!

Posted by: Jim at August 23, 2005 09:04 AM

Congratulations, Jim! You must feel wonderful!

Posted by: RP at August 23, 2005 10:26 AM

Tell them thats why its called "PROOF OF CONCEPT". After watching the demo the brass is supposed to say "oh, I see what you guys can produce in a limited time (and don't forget the damn budget) now lets get some real legs behind this project and take it across the goal line" or some kind of a BS Dilbert type phrase. Hey if you you show up to the dance you should be allowed to dance.

Posted by: Frick at August 23, 2005 08:35 PM

Tell them thats why its called "PROOF OF CONCEPT". After watching the demo the brass is supposed to say "oh, I see what you guys can produce in a limited time (and don't forget the damn budget) now lets get some real legs behind this project and take it across the goal line" or some kind of a BS Dilbert type phrase. Hey if you you show up to the dance you should be allowed to dance.
Congratulations, may the ballsack swell with pride

Posted by: Frick at August 23, 2005 08:37 PM

Way to go. Good job with that ballsack thing, glad to hear it.

And i bet the team liked not having some total prick running the show, trying to micromanage and whatnot.

Kudos (or Scotch, if granola's not your thing)
:-D

Posted by: tommy at August 23, 2005 08:56 PM

504 page reports off a 17 million record set live database in under 4 seconds

That made me shiver. Fuckin' sweet, Jim!

Posted by: ilyka at August 23, 2005 09:12 PM

All i wanna know is does this mean you can come out and play again?

Posted by: Pam at August 24, 2005 04:45 PM
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